Being the wife of a head high school football coach can be quite the task. There’s booster clubs meetings, games to attend, people to meet, errands to run, a husband and team to support and prayers to be prayed. And all that is just when you’re winning. 

When the season isn’t going as expected, there’s a completely different list…make an attempt to say all the right things to your husband who just lost a game and has the weight of his whole team on his shoulders, do your best to not punch rude fans in the throat when they make horrible remarks about your husband and the team, keep a positive attitude when everyone around you is negative, believe in your husband, his dream and abilities even when he has a brief moment of disbelief, and pray for sunshine in the midst of thunderstorms.

Would I like for us to be undefeated this far? Heck Yeah!!!! 

Would I love for the freshmen to instantly gain experience and confidence in their new positions? Yes!!!

Would I love for 25 experienced, huge ball players to join the team right now? Without hesitation, yes!!!

But even right now I’m thankful. I’m thankful because I see all the victories that have taken place.

I see the young men who haven’t had their fathers in their lives have a man tell them that he loves them and mean it. 

I see a successful program being built.

  
I see an example being set of what a godly, dedicated husband looks like.

I see so much more than the losses. I see the sleepless nights, the quiet days when he’s thinking about what to do next. I see him telling players how proud he is of them when their hearts hurt from losing.

I’ve seen him take phone calls all times of night when a players family member died, I’ve comforted him while he was comforting them.

I’ve gotten the phone calls to go get groceries for a player and his family because they didn’t have food in the house and to pay someone’s water bill because they’ve been without for a week.

I’ve seen my husband pay for homecoming tuxedos and put money in a players hand so he could take his date out to eat. 

I’ve seen him go pray with families who have unexpectantly lost a loved one. I’ve seen him visit a player who went to jail and cry tears because he seen how his environment changed him. 

I’ve seen him give half of his stipend away because he wanted all his coaches to be paid. I’ve seen him work two jobs and coach just to provide for his family. 

I’ve seen and learned a lot of the past ten years being married to a coach but what I value the most is my husband’s heart for his young men and the hope that he has in them and their futures. I’m so proud that even in the face of adversity, I still see his heart is for God’s heart and for that I’m thankful❤️❤️❤️

So today I had theeee most refreshing conversation w/a lady I just met a few weeks ago at church. We were supposed to be going out to lunch and a couple of hours before she called and asked me if we could reschedule for a couple of weeks. She said that she didn’t have the extra money to go out.

Honestly I had already planned on paying for lunch so to me it wasn’t a big deal and I told her so.

Her response was golden… “No, I want this to be a true adult relationship. I want to be a good friend, pay for my own lunch and we split the tip. I want to do this right. That’s why I’m calling to reschedule.”

I respect it!!!!! I respect the fact that she has boundaries and that she has expectations!! 

And this made me think…how many times have I went into situations w/people with no expectations? Not saying that all relationships/acquaintances deserve this type of thought but what about the ones that do? People I let into intimate areas of my life, home and family. Do they know what I am expecting from them? Do I  expect anything specific from them? 

Their honesty? Loyalty? Support? Respect? For us to be able to talk through any situation that may come up? For me to be there for them and vice versa?

There is so much that can happen in relationships but today I had the thought that if I express what I expect and require when I need it and not stuff those feelings down, the person can either step up, meet the requirements or exit stage left knowing exactly why we can still be cordial and friendly just not what we used to be….

Being an introvert, I don’t do well with conflict. Any time I feel disrespected, dismissed or demeaned I either shut down or I disconnect. 

  
It’s not that my words have escaped; its just that I refuse to waist valuable pieces of myself when I feel as if I’m being devalued.

When I say I need space so that I can let everything register mentally-it’s usually because I want to take the time to make sense of past events and figure out how to respectfully make my point of view impeccably clear.

I’m not mean. I’m reserved and observant. I’ve learned that everyone doesn’t deserve to have a glimpse of my inner self. 

When I love you, I love you. Where I was once quiet, meek, and observing from the sidelines-I’m now the one with the brightest smile, biggest hug and random dance moves.

Being an introvert, I’m learning to be me. And being me means being ok with me processing life differently…

This weekend I was totally brimming with thoughts, and judgements, about what should have happened in a certain situation. I mean honestly within a few hours I had mentally drafted several scenarios of how the situation should have went down.

  
I woke up the next morning with it on my mind and as I was getting ready, I started praying. Not a long drawn out prayer. But a short, honest prayer from my heart.

And then it happened…a specific thought came to mind➡️ there’s a reason behind the actions, not that it should be an excuse however there is a reason…

Man, this changed everything for me!!!! I was so busy dissecting what I thought was wrong that I didn’t have the one thing that I need so much of…Grace. So many people go through things that sometimes, without them even knowing, that those experiences tend to color their reactions-good or bad.

So I was reminded that there is always something for me to learn and that I can always love stronger and better…and that prayer is my lifeline.

Xoxo

It’s amazing how friends can become strangers…

People who were once acquaintances become like family…

How family ties become tattered, torn and broken…

How dreams become reality…

And the people and things you once held close, turn into a distant memory…

Where love and passion used to reside there is suddenly apathy…

Life changes. People change. I’m changed…for the better. 

I’m wiser. I’m hopeful. I’m full of faith. I’ve did what I could to not allow the changes of life break my heart or my spirit. Love dwells in me. The places that were once empty in me have been fully restored. Insecurities have been cast out. Beauty had been attained. 

Life hasn’t gotten the best of me. I continue to give life my best. Life has changed me…for the better❤️

#1 Get dressed, for the day, first thing in the morning…

I get up and get ready before I wake my children up! I’m not saying I’m dressed in heels and Glamour shot photo ready- but never under estimate jeans, a v-neck tee, a cute scarf, cardigan, flats and lipgloss 😉 my day always ends up being more productive and I feel good bc I look good!

  
#2 Get as much done the night before as you can…

Baths. Getting clothes out. Sitting out snacks. Putting lunch money and signed permission slips in backpacks. Doing these small things at night can save you so much time in the morning!

#3 Keep everything in a planner…

What’s due. Appointments. Sports schedules. Parties. Times you have to volunteer. Keep everything in a planner whether it’s on your phone or hand held. Write everything down, Review it nightly and keep your planner/to-do list with you at all times! (Day Designer planner from Target is a great choice📅)

#4 Build a good repor with your child(rens’) teachers…

Meet your child’s teachers!! Have open conversations with them about your child and how important their education is to you. Make it a point to volunteer in their class as much as you can. Even if your schedule doesn’t allow you to volunteer as much as you like, email their teacher weekly just to check in and see how your child’s week has been going and if their is anything that they, or the classroom, is in need of.

#5 Have snacks ready after school..

My children are usually really hungry after school! There are few things worse than trying to fix snacks while a little human is hanging on my leg in tears from so-called hunger pains. I usually prepare muffins, fresh fruit cups, cheese squares,  finger sandwiches or something quick (to hold them over until dinner) and have it waiting at the table for them.

With that being said, enjoy the rest of what’s left of summer and prepare for a great school year!!!!

So something that I’ve learned and am always keeping at the forefront of my mind is: I’m ok even if someone isn’t ok with me.

Quite a mouthful huh? Lol, well let me let you into my mental and heart space for a moment or two. I am at heart a recovered people pleaser. I used to want people to love me, approve of me and have these fairy tale, bff type relationships.  But I soon realized that things don’t always work out like that. People grow apart. People you once were super close with seem to become distant over time. People grow and change. Disappointments happen. Conversations that should have been had are put off and the person you once loved is now a perfect stranger. You won’t click with everyone. And lastly,  sometimes people just won’t like you!

I used to be so down about these type of situations. Mentally my thoughts would be all consuming and my heart would be breaking inside my chest. I would be constantly thinking about the infinite possibilities of what I could have said or done wrong that would make someone dislike or disconnect from me. Seriously, these type of things would keep me awake many of nights. Ultimately, my securities grew beyond what I could ever imagine…as well as my “keep people at a distance” attitude.

Then one day, after lots of tears, prayer and affirmations…I felt so strongly in my heart “I’m ok with me even if someone isn’t”. I had to tell myself this over and over-I still say it. And I believe it. It’s ok if people, relationships, and acquaintances change–because I’m ok with me…and that won’t ever change❤️❤️

So our move is done!! As a matter of fact, today is our one week anniversary in our new home😉 

We are still adjusting but things are good. We’re settling in and as the days go by, our house is beginning to feel more like a home. Pictures are going up, furniture is being placed and memories are being made.

   

  

     
The one thing that I am being shown is that be being a new homeowner is a truly humbling process. From the beginning I had thoughts of grandeur about house warming parties and the beautiful pictures that I’d post on social media…but then I thought about my intentions. This is not about me and what we have or what we are doing, our home is about Gods glory and His grace. Without Him none of this would be possible…so it’s only right to keep things in perspective.

Yes, I still want to have a house warming party and yes I want our home to be beautiful however I want people to come in and feel welcomed and loved. So much of what I thought this journey was about has been turned upside down. It’s not about our family being “showy”, it’s about us creating an atmosphere that is full of love, peace and the wondrous glory of God. Our home is a resting place for the Holy Spirit and I want my attitude to reflect that. 

  
So more than anything I know our home is our blessing…and we are blessed to bless others❤️🏡

   

  
   

Can I be completely honest???

We were supposed to close on our home almost two weeks ago…and we didn’t.  So as of today, we are eleven days behind schedule.

There is stuff everywhere! To pack up a family of six is no easy task. There’s boxes everywhere. Add to it that we ordered two sets of bunk beds, with mattresses, that had to be delivered to our rental because of our delayed closing date…it’s borderline chaos not to mention that it seems as if the rooms are closing in on me.

Even in all of this I have a choice. I can choose to focus on the process or the promise. The process is the delayed closing date and the temporary chaos that surrounds me. The promise is that our family will be moving into our new home and creating beautiful memories for years to come…I choose the promise.

The moral of the blog post is this: Don’t allow your process to deter you from your promise…keep the vision of what will be before you through the words you speak and your thoughts.

Blessings!!! Xoxo

Sometimes things just don’t work out as planned…my plan. So instead of me dwelling on what didn’t go right, I’ll think about what will be and how everything will still work out for my good.

Can’t say that the negative side doesn’t present itself however I’ve made a choice to see negativity as a nonfactor. 

Yes it’s hard. Yes I’m pissed. Maybe even a little disappointed…yes I’m still choosing to believe for an even better tomorrow.