What Are You Talking About?????

I had a convo today that still has me thinking…

I stopped by a friend’s house spur of the moment, just to say hey and catch up. If course we started out with what’s been gping on with our families, homes and everything in between. But it ended with us being able to speak about our dreams and what it is we would like to do to help others… and that’s the part that stuck with me. Have a positive convo today. Not just about all that is going, how people are doing but talk about something you’re working on, something that causes you to think outside of where you are right now…have a convo that pushes, motivates, you to think on a higher level!!!!

With Life Comes Disappointments…

Disappointments can be crushing. 

Life altering. Even paralyzing. 

But without a doubt disappointments are a part of life. Most times you cant avoid them. Can’t deny them. Cant forget how they made you feel. 

But I am learning. Disappointments don’t have to take my voice, my confidence, my hope…there’s absolutely nothing wrong with putting a voice to them and making them known to the person who dispersed them. Disappointments don’t have to be buried and tucked away never to to be heard from. They can be talked about. Explained. Discussed. Forgiven. Unraveled. Logged but not permanently tattooed in your memory.
Disappointments will more than likely keep coming. But they don’t have to negatively alter our attitudes or harden our hearts…hopefully they will cause us to grow and become better. 

The Next Step…

 I read something that designated deep within me today…”Sometimes the smallest steps are actually the biggest”. This rang true to me for a few reasons 1)a friend of mine is always preaching/living this…just do the next thing. 2)Im getting older. In about a month I’ll be 37 years young with 6 children. Entering a different phase in life and wondering/questioning what’s next? How can I use my gifts to help others? 3)I’ve been one to try to measure myself by others and if I’m being quite honest feeling like man, what can I do when so many others are doing such big, grand things??!

So, as I’m hoping to encourage you- I’m encouraging myself. Just do what’s next; no matter how small. If it’s start a blog-write your first post. If it’s loving a women-invite a few ladies to your home for dinner. If it’s being an author- start writing. If it’s being more organized- make plans for today. 

Whatever it is-just take the next step…I’m stepping right with you!!!👠👠👟👟👢

Dear Mama…

I was reading a blog post yesterday that so hit home. It was talking about black motherhood and how many times there are layers upon layers of things that play key factors into causing mothers to not be the parents they once were or would like to be. In this particular post it was instability, lack of finances and a husband/father with a drug addiction.

This was relatable bc I was once a part of that scenario. However for the longest time, I didn’t see my mother through the eyes of grace. I saw all of what I thought that I didnt get growing up. 

I didn’t factor in that she had her first child at 18 and was the mother of 3 by the time she was 23. I didnt consider the fact that the abuse that she suffered at the hands of my father more than likely caused depression and emptiness. I didnt see that her loosing her mother at the tender age of 12, then playing a key part in raising her other siblings and not having a good relationship with her step-mother probably shaped the way in which she interacted with others. Or the simple fact that she had been through so much by the time she had me at 28…honestly she was understandably worn out by life in just about every way. 

I didn’t give my mother enough credit.  All that she went through was rough and more than I could take but she survived. There wasn’t a time when I didn’t have a roof over my head or where she wasn’t employed. My needs were met and she stayed. I wasn’t in the system and she made sure that my niece wasn’t either. I always held a place of resentment in my heart from her making me have an abortion at 14 years old…never thinking that she made that decision bc she knew what being a teenage mom looked like and she saw something more in me. She never spoke bad about my father (when she could have) and always let me make my own decision about having a relationship with him. 

Depression. Addiction. Lack of childhood.  No one to really model/teach about womanhood and motherhood. Singleness. Being the only Provider. Crushing Memories. Unrecognized Feelings of Agony, Grief, Pain, and Abuse. 

Dear Mama…I wish I could tell you I see your pain. I recognize your strength. And that grace covers it all. 

Marriage…Existing or Thriving???

One of the things that I enjoy about my marriage is that I really like my husband…we talk. Laugh. Dream. Work together. Love. 

I never grew up seeing thriving marriages. I seen people just together. No passion. No affection. No unity. Just together. Basically roommates. On the flip side, I seen others who wanted people to think that they had the best relationship ever. Only to realize that it was all a charade and that they were just like, or worse off, than the others. 

Our marriage hasnt always been solid. Our first few years were really rocky and honestly I mentally packed my bags more times than I can count. But 12 years in, the one thing that I realize is that our relationship is just that…our relationship. No comparing to others, it just won’t match up. I’ve also come to know that it’s my priviledge to fully support my hubby and vice versa. Sometimes that will mean not being able to do what others expect me too. Or even clearing out my schedule for a few hours to help put wherever I’m needed. Whatever the case, Ive seen/experienced tremendous growth since I have made it my priority to be all in. We’ve gotten closer and saying that he’s my best friend isnt just another cute phrase…it is the truth. And it carries weight.

So, if I could give any advice to another married couple, I would say position yourselves to thrive in your marriage. Date. Converse. Love Strong. Support One Another. Make Love. Kiss. Dream Together. Have Belly Laughs…dont just coexist. 

Grow Individually Together.

Balance…Is It Possible?!?

Over the past week or so, I’ve been thinking alot about balance. 

Is there any such thing?

We have been pretty productive during this season. 

Marriage. 4.5 Children + 1 Bonus Baby (through foster care). Home Manager. Working Part-time. 

Honestly, there isnt a lot of me time. I love the idea of self-care but when the rubber hits the road, I have to make the best of our situation. While I would love to go get a pedicure and spend some time alone, honestly I have loads of laundry that need to be washed, dryed and folded so the best that I can do is listen to one of my favorite podcast and read a chapter in a book while I wait for my children at baseball practice.

I know it won’t always be like this but for right now I have to grab the moments when and where I can. So to all my mommy friends, take the little moments until the big ones are available. 

GRACE…

If I could sum up what I’ve been learning since the end of 2016, it has to be GRACE.  There has been so much going on and so much that I wanted to change, but throughout it, all I keep hearing the word GRACE

Have GRACE toward people and their circumstances

Be full of GRACE even when I have every right to be upset

Speak GRACE over others name

Show GRACE when others are inconsiderate 

Pray God’s GRACE over the lives of others insted of His judgement

Has this season been hard? ABSOLUTELY 

Am I tired? MOST DAYS

Do I ever feel doubtful or upset? YES

How do I keep going? BY RECEIVING THE SAME GRACE THAT GOD HAS ASKED ME TO EXTEND TO OTHERS

Even when it’s hard, you feel uncertain and you dont know how it all will turn out…Ask God for grace- for you to give as well as receive❤❤❤

A Prayer for my Fellow Mama’s…

I pray that on today your Mama heart is filled with peace, love, joy and grace. I pray that as you enter into a new week you give yourself room to grow and become better.

I pray that your patience is renewed and that even in the not so good moments, that you see the hearts of your children and speak life. 

I pray that you take the time to do something just for you, even if it’s just getting coffee by yourself.

I pray that you intentionally send your babies to school knowing that you love them and that you believe that they will achieve great things in life.

I pray that your marriage is blessed. And that you spend time with your husband, praying for him and adding value to your relationship.

Above all, I pray that as a Mama and a beautiful woman, you know that you are significant and Gos made no mistakes creating you…

❤❤❤❤

16 for ’16…

2016 has been a good year…went by seemingly quick but it has been full. Full of good and some not so good…

Here’s 16 things that I’m thankful for in the year 2016…

#1 Community. During this year I have seen ppl support us in great ways. Our church, neighborhood and school have been a steady stream of support and encouragement.

#2 Minivan. The younger me never seen myself as a minivan driver, couldnt even wrap my mind around the possibility. But the 36 year old, mama of a crew- took a dive into the unknown land of minivans and has never returned. My 2013 Honda Odyssey, Heather the Honda, is neva, eva leaving!!!

#3 Hospitality. This year I have cooked more meals than all my years put together. Being a wife of a head high school football coach has blessed me to make many meals. Throughout the season and summer, Sundays were for team dinners and anywhere from 6-10 teenage boys calling me “Mom” and making our home theirs. Not to count the days when I would get random phone calls from my guys asking what was for dinner. I love it and wouldnt trade it for anything!

#4 Self-Care. Cant say that I have completely mastered this but I have made threading my eyebrows and fresh sushi a part of my monthly regimen.

#5 Introversion. I have accepted that I am an introvert who loves people. I used to long for a best friend-that person who I could tell everything too and spend lots of time with. Well, that person is me…and alot of times my husband. Im okay with having a super small circle and for the acquaintances that life has introduced me too. 

#6 Supportive Wife. I absolutely love my hubby and supporting his goals and dreams is non-negotiable. Being his number 1 fan, being at his events, being his listening ear and biggest confidant are all my priviledge. 

#7 Home Ministry. Home= Husband. Children. Household. If home aint right, its impossible for me to serve at 100% anywhere else.

#8  Welcome Baby. A few weeks ago we welcomed a new baby into our through kinship program. This wasnt planned, by us, we got a call, went through the process and a week later brought home a 3 week old baby boy. Dont know how long he will be with us, just committed to loving him, taking great care of him and praying for his parents. 

#9 Saying No isnt Hard. I used to dread saying no bc I thought I would make ppl angry and that scared me. However Ive learned that its okay for me to say no and without explanation.

#10 Everybody Isnt For Me. I used to really get down on myself if I didnt have an instant connection or feel a certain warmness from ppl. Often I’d ask myslef what had I done or what was wrong with me. Now I’ve realized everybody isnt for me and that’s okay. It doesn’t even have to be anything personal. Somethings/ people arent worth me wasisting my time pondering over.

#11 God is my Source. Its been times when I thought certain hhings happened bc of me or what I’ve done, but I come to realize that God is my source. He is my source of eveything good whether its him providing or allowing someone else to see His glory through my family-It’s Him!

#12 No Longer Living in the Comparison Zone. I used to be so horrible at comparing myself to others. Eventually Iearned that comparisons don’t compare. We are all unique and can only live our lives to the best of our abilities.

#14 Being so Blessed in My Marriage. This year I have seen and heard of so many married couples living like roommates. No affection. No friendship. No sex. No fun. No butterflies. To for me to be in a marriage with a man who truly is my best friend; who I can do life with all while loving, appreciating and wanting to be with him is lit!!! I’m blessed.

#15 Evaluation of My Words AND my Actions. Yes, we as people have to speak good things over ourselves. Heck, I have a list of affirmations right now!! However Ive learned that my actions have to line up with my words in order for change to take place.                             So speak it. Do it. Be it.

#16 Cutting of limitations through Limiting Thoughts. Ive caught myself mentally talking myself out of greatness quite a few times. Like Id think of something or see something and instantly think “that’s great…for her, for them. I couldnt do it bc Im just (fill in the blank)”. No more limiting thoughts. No more self-imposed limitations!!!!!

I hope you have learned some great things in 2016 that will carry you to greatness in 2017.                                              HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!🎈🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉

Loving Without Regard…

A few weeks ago the dyanmic of our family changed…we welcomed a beautiful three week old baby boy into our home. Being foster parents had never been on our family “to-do” list persay but when we got the phone call about a young woman’s, I have a soft spot in my heart for, son needing a place to call home, we couldnt turn our backs.  

This process all happened pretty quick, so when we told our children about it, we were as honest as possible. “A young woman that Mommy and Daddy knows had a baby. Right now she and her son’s father are working to get some things together so that their son can have a safe, happy and healthy home with them soon. Until that time comes, it’s our job as a family to love him and take really good care of him.” This was our speech to our four babies about three hours before we picked baby boy up. 

The whole time I was nervous, excited, blessed and also sad bc I knew his Mom was missing him terribly. 

It’s been two weeks and having a newborn has been giving me all the feels. Above all, my main purpose outside of caring for this precious little one, is to pray for his mother. I mean Pray. Not just a few words, but cry out to God that her heart becomes His and that her life be transformed because of His love for her.

I heard someone ask if there is any way that a person can be a foster parent and not become attached…from my short experience, I would say no. No because, I choose to love this little boy like my own knowing that he will only be with us for a time. But that’s the chance our family is  willing to take in order to give him a beginning filled with love and stability…no matter how long or short his stay. We are loving completely, with regard and with hope and pray for his future and his family.

Posted in Joy

Permalink 1 Comment

A walk in my shoes

From Relationships to Weightloss

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Oscar Relentos

Welcome to my catharsis

Melanie Meditates

Mother of 3, Mental Health Advocate, Product Reviewer & Beauty Enthusiast

Indian Parenting & Motherhood Blogger - THE CHAMPA TREE

Blog on motherhood, parenting tips, baby & child care, recipes, activities for kids, art & craft ideas, baby products review, lifestyle, makeup & beauty tips

Forêt

A World Within In A Forest

Hosanna in the highest

Isabella Rodriguez

Insidethelifeofmoi

An eccentric blogger with a pen and a thousand ideas

Some Jesus Things

John 21:25 Look it Up!

Сельский туризм в России

"Сельский туризм в России" — авторский проект Алексея Марковича.

Sparkonit

Science - Simplified

Humanity777's Blog

The Church of Christ