Monday Motivation: Pray, Prepare…

“If You Pray For It, Prepare For It”…this simple, eight word quote speaks volumes to me!!! I can remember when we were in the process of buying our home. We had been looking for months, put in three offers, praying and believing…but nothing seemed to be going our way. 

I can remember feeling down and out, tired of waiting. But eventually, I did the opposite of what my situation called for. I started packing up stuff, throwing out what we didn’t need, and keeping the house that we were in like it was the home we had been dreaming of. And in time, we found our home and the transition was smoother because of the preparation that took place throughout the process. 

Same thing goes for our goals, dreams and aspirations…prepare, get ready, for what you’re praying for. If it’s to be a speaker- study, perfect your gift. If it’s s new car-keep your current one washed, cleaned out and up to date on maintenance. If it’s to be wealthy- clean your credit up and stay up to date on bills. Sometimes it’s not so much about how much we are doing, it’s about being excellent and consistent in what we are doing. 

So friends and fellow mommies, let’s start, and finish out, this week by Being Prepared For The Blessing(s) That We’ve Been Praying For…

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Making The Adjustments…

So, we are 8 days in. I’m 8 days into having 6 children in our home. 

It’s been good. We are making the adjustments. Adjusting to having a newborn and a 10 month old, along with a pre-kindergartener and 3 elementary schoolers. Some days are better than others. I get enough sleep. I’m up and on it with breakfast and my house is mostly in order. 

Then there are the days when I’ve been up with my baby boy for hours and breakfast is cereal. I’m barely getting Maj to school by 830am and even though I have help I feel as if I’m doing somethings wrong bc I should be better organized.

But what I’m learning is to make the adjustments. Tomorrow I’ll probably be sleeping in and turning my phone off. My husband is on homework duty and he’s been the one in charge of communicating with our children’s teachers. 

I can’t do everything…so the adjustments have to be made. And I’m trying my best to not feel guilty throughout the process.

He’s Here!!!!

He’s here!! He’s here!!! Our newest family member Matthias Andre Boyd was born on 9/7 at 915am, weighing 7lbs 7oz, 19 1/2in. 

Can I just say that labor was exhausting!! I went in to be induced at 5pm on Wednesday and didn’t deliver my little buddy until the next morning at 915am. For some reason I thought that being induced was going to mean that my labor would be shorter…obviously I was wrong. Labor was long but delivery seemed to go by pretty quick…after about 10 good, gut wrenching, angry face pushes–my dude was here!!!

Our little guy is perfect! Healthy, content and getting all the love from his parents, 5 other siblings and family. 

What I can say is that Im still getting used to our new normal. I’m so used to getting my babies up and ready for school, fixing meals, supervising homework and handling all that comes with managing our household that when my husband tells me to go lay down and relax, it’s foreign to me. Relax? Lay down? For what…Im not tired!! There’s only so much napping I can do and just getting my brain to stop updating my constant mental to-do list is a task in itself. 

So, I’m trying…a little. To sit down. Relax. And allow myself to be helped. It’s hard but I’m attempting to take it easy…to heal and enjoy our new little guy…
Matthias Andre Boyd 

It’s Time…

It’s that time…for years I wasn’t ready. And couldnt fathom making the decision.  I thought about it. Contemplated. But back then, ultimately I wasn’t ready. 

But now it’s a new day. I’m ready. Ready for what you ask? Ready to get my tubes tied…yeah, almost 6 kids later I’m sure. I’m sure that I’m good on having more children. I’m 37 years old and my baby making days are over. If God saw fit, I would definitely take in more babies, children through adoption and foster care. But as far as me carrying another human…I’m good. My body is so done with those days. This wasn’t the worse pregnancy but I just know that I can’t do it again…

So here’s my advice to any woman who wants to know when do you know if you’re ready…you just know. Nobody can tell you when, it’s just something you know deep within you. So whether it’s 2 babies in or 20, do what you know is best for you❤❤❤🤰🏾

It’s Getting Real…

Time is winding up…sometime next week I’ll be giving birth to our baby boy. The last of the crew (I think, unless we adopt more babies😊). 

We will be a family of 8. Myself, my husband, 11 y/o daughter, 8 y/o boy/girl twins, 4 y/o son, 9 month old son (we are doing kinship and now have temporary custody) and then a newborn…for the most part, I think I haven’t really taken in the fact that we will have 6 kids. I’ve said it. But now it’s really just sinking in. The logistics of having 6 children is starting to settle in mentally. And the qusetions are starting to swirl arpund in my head: Do we need a conversion van? How am I going schedule cooking, cleaning and make sure kids are well prepared for school? Visitation with baby boy? I’ll be home with our 4 y/o and two babies…yes, I’ve done it before bc we have twins. But having a young toddler and a newborn is all new territory. I’m sure I’ll have days where I’m beasting it…schedule on point, meals prepped, clean and happy babies and house smelling good and intact. I’m also sure that there will be days when the exhaustion will be real, babies will be testy, no meal in sight and put house will look like a tornado has ran through it.  

So before the start of it all, I’m thanking God for grace. GRACE to be the best wife and mother that I can be. GRACE to maintain peace and love in our home. GRACE to say no. GRACE to rest when needed. 

GRACE. GRACE. GRACE. That’s my focus…

What Are You Talking About?????

I had a convo today that still has me thinking…

I stopped by a friend’s house spur of the moment, just to say hey and catch up. Of course we started out with what’s been going on with our families, homes and everything in between. But it ended with us being able to speak about our dreams and what it is we would like to do to help others… and that’s the part that stuck with me. Have a positive convo today. Not just about all that is going, how people are doing but talk about something you’re working on, something that causes you to think outside of where you are right now…have a convo that pushes, motivates, you to think on a higher level!!!!

With Life Comes Disappointments…

Disappointments can be crushing. 

Life altering. Even paralyzing. 

But without a doubt disappointments are a part of life. Most times you cant avoid them. Can’t deny them. Cant forget how they made you feel. 

But I am learning. Disappointments don’t have to take my voice, my confidence, my hope…there’s absolutely nothing wrong with putting a voice to them and making them known to the person who dispersed them. Disappointments don’t have to be buried and tucked away never to to be heard from. They can be talked about. Explained. Discussed. Forgiven. Unraveled. Logged but not permanently tattooed in your memory.
Disappointments will more than likely keep coming. But they don’t have to negatively alter our attitudes or harden our hearts…hopefully they will cause us to grow and become better. 

The Next Step…

 I read something that designated deep within me today…”Sometimes the smallest steps are actually the biggest”. This rang true to me for a few reasons 1)a friend of mine is always preaching/living this…just do the next thing. 2)Im getting older. In about a month I’ll be 37 years young with 6 children. Entering a different phase in life and wondering/questioning what’s next? How can I use my gifts to help others? 3)I’ve been one to try to measure myself by others and if I’m being quite honest feeling like man, what can I do when so many others are doing such big, grand things??!

So, as I’m hoping to encourage you- I’m encouraging myself. Just do what’s next; no matter how small. If it’s start a blog-write your first post. If it’s loving a women-invite a few ladies to your home for dinner. If it’s being an author- start writing. If it’s being more organized- make plans for today. 

Whatever it is-just take the next step…I’m stepping right with you!!!👠👠👟👟👢

Dear Mama…

I was reading a blog post yesterday that so hit home. It was talking about black motherhood and how many times there are layers upon layers of things that play key factors into causing mothers to not be the parents they once were or would like to be. In this particular post it was instability, lack of finances and a husband/father with a drug addiction.

This was relatable bc I was once a part of that scenario. However for the longest time, I didn’t see my mother through the eyes of grace. I saw all of what I thought that I didnt get growing up. 

I didn’t factor in that she had her first child at 18 and was the mother of 3 by the time she was 23. I didnt consider the fact that the abuse that she suffered at the hands of my father more than likely caused depression and emptiness. I didnt see that her loosing her mother at the tender age of 12, then playing a key part in raising her other siblings and not having a good relationship with her step-mother probably shaped the way in which she interacted with others. Or the simple fact that she had been through so much by the time she had me at 28…honestly she was understandably worn out by life in just about every way. 

I didn’t give my mother enough credit.  All that she went through was rough and more than I could take but she survived. There wasn’t a time when I didn’t have a roof over my head or where she wasn’t employed. My needs were met and she stayed. I wasn’t in the system and she made sure that my niece wasn’t either. I always held a place of resentment in my heart from her making me have an abortion at 14 years old…never thinking that she made that decision bc she knew what being a teenage mom looked like and she saw something more in me. She never spoke bad about my father (when she could have) and always let me make my own decision about having a relationship with him. 

Depression. Addiction. Lack of childhood.  No one to really model/teach about womanhood and motherhood. Singleness. Being the only Provider. Crushing Memories. Unrecognized Feelings of Agony, Grief, Pain, and Abuse. 

Dear Mama…I wish I could tell you I see your pain. I recognize your strength. And that grace covers it all. 

Marriage…Existing or Thriving???

One of the things that I enjoy about my marriage is that I really like my husband…we talk. Laugh. Dream. Work together. Love. 

I never grew up seeing thriving marriages. I seen people just together. No passion. No affection. No unity. Just together. Basically roommates. On the flip side, I seen others who wanted people to think that they had the best relationship ever. Only to realize that it was all a charade and that they were just like, or worse off, than the others. 

Our marriage hasnt always been solid. Our first few years were really rocky and honestly I mentally packed my bags more times than I can count. But 12 years in, the one thing that I realize is that our relationship is just that…our relationship. No comparing to others, it just won’t match up. I’ve also come to know that it’s my priviledge to fully support my hubby and vice versa. Sometimes that will mean not being able to do what others expect me too. Or even clearing out my schedule for a few hours to help put wherever I’m needed. Whatever the case, Ive seen/experienced tremendous growth since I have made it my priority to be all in. We’ve gotten closer and saying that he’s my best friend isnt just another cute phrase…it is the truth. And it carries weight.

So, if I could give any advice to another married couple, I would say position yourselves to thrive in your marriage. Date. Converse. Love Strong. Support One Another. Make Love. Kiss. Dream Together. Have Belly Laughs…dont just coexist. 

Grow Individually Together.

Joy A. Williams

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