Hard Things.

I dont like hard things…especially when it comes to people and circumstances. We could all pretty much say that right???

Well, for me this is so true. Maybe bc I’m such a laid back, nonchalant (on the outside) person or maybe bc the thought of inconveniencing others makes me want to break out in a sweat.

Either way, “peopling” can be hard for me. Which is why this is so much for interesting…my job, well my purpose, centers around people!!! Young mothers, young women to be exact. And yall…this is no cake walk!!!

Emotions. Problems. Insecurities. Generational curses. Just not knowing how to handle some things. Lack of attention. Not knowing their worth.

All these things play a role. All these things are familiar. All these things cant go unaddressed for too long.

And again…its hard. Hard to know how to love others well enough so that when you correct them they dont break. Hard enough to nurture and not allow wrong behavior. Hard to give your all when it’s easier to shut down and back off. Hard to go through the muddy waters and not come out covered in filth.

Its hard but there is so much at stake. What I’m learning is that my purpose isn’t going to be lived out doing things that are easy. Being relational, “peopling”, loving others well are not and will never be easy tasks. But they are essential and needed more than anything else.

So for me I’ve decided to not go through the muddy waters trying to avoid the filfth… I’m going to go through, come out, rinse off and clean myself up, and go in again prepared to bring someone, something good, out with me๐Ÿ’œ

Boundaries…

So today I was listening to a podcast by Havilah Cunnington about boundaries. Yall …straight conviction!!!! I had been putting off setting a boundary, no longer doing something that was inconvenient, because I was afraid that this thing wouldn’t be done…

“It is no ones responbutlty to know what they are taking from you. You are the only one who will know what others are taking from you.”

So after hearing this a made the move to let the person know what I was doing was no longer convenient, so therefore I will no longer be doing it.

No is not a bad word!!!! It is so okay for me to not try to take on every single need that is presented to me… I cant. I’ve tried- its impossible and exhausting to try and do.

Having boundaries can be hard, especially when you have a heart to love and help people. By all means, when I can help I will, but I am no longer willing to exhaust myself and my family trying to do so.

Link to podcast:

https://castbox.fm/x/PrTb

Boundaries…

So today I was listening to a podcast by Havilah Cunnington about boundaries. Yall …straight conviction!!!! I had been putting off setting a boundary, no longer doing something that was inconvenient, because I was afraid that this thing wouldn’t be done…

“It is no ones responbutlty to know what they are taking from you. You are the only one who will know what others are taking from you.”

So after hearing this a made the move to let the person know what I was doing was no longer convenient, so therefore I will no longer be doing it.

No is not a bad word!!!! It is so okay for me to not try to take on every single need that is presented to me… I cant. I’ve tried- its impossible and exhausting to try and do.

Having boundaries can be hard, especially when you have a heart to love and help people. By all means, when I can help I will, but I am no longer willing to exhaust myself and my family trying to do so.

Link to podcast:

https://castbox.fm/x/PrTb

3 BTS Tips…

Alright Mamas it’s that time again…back to school!!!๐Ÿ—‚๐Ÿ–Š๐Ÿ“

As a mom of six (4 in school) here are my go-to’s for back to school:

1. Plan– I write everything down. St the beginning of the year, I transfer the school calendar to my planner.

2. Get Up Early– I get up at least 30 minutes before my children. This gives me time to prepare myself for the day

3. Get Dressed– listen…this one took me a minute!!! However I always feel more productive and if by chance I have to run after a bus or go into the school unexpectedly, I’m good

Bonus: Buy alllll the school supplies you want…just for you!!!!

Here’s to another successful school year!!! ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚

The One Thing That I Forgot….

If I am being completely honest…this week has started out hard. Our washer broke (with a family of 8 that’s a no-no), fridge isn’t getting cold (uhhhh…I just went grocery shopping at Sams!!!) and things are just hard.

I’ve caught myself pondering on if I can do it. Be the mother that my children need, keep our home afloat as the fall rolls in (school and football), be the wife that my husband needs and do whatever it is God has called me to do….

I’m tired. Frustrated. Feeling Unproductive. Angry. Feeling as if I’m doing things in vain. Just Down. Unappreciated.

Is this how I’m supposed to be feeling going into my 38th year? It’s an unsure place to be in when I’m so used to having it all together…at least by appearance…but lately, yeah I have zero time or effort to put into trying to look as if I’m good and I’m not. No, I’m not walking around upset and disheveled but there is this part of me that’s like “bump it, you feel what you feel, it is what it is”.

But the one thing that I had forgotten within all of this is that I was made for this!!! Is this adoption process going to be easy? No. Is it easy dealing with an energetic, curious toddler who can destroy a room in 5.2 seconds? Nope. However, I do know that God placed him in our lives to love and care for. Is it ideal havin to be out of the house at 640am to pick up another child and get him and my daughter to school by 730am? Nah son, but the way the situation unfolded itself let’s me know God put me in the path of his mother to be a help for a time.

I can sit here and complain about all the things that I have to do and all that needs to be done or I can just do it and be thankful that God put me in position to be His “go-to” woman.

Things will slow down, seasons will shift but right now….its go time!!!!!

Congrats On The Seemingly Small Wins….

Sometimes I am so quick to look over the “small wins” in everyday life. I don’t take the time to say “hey, good job on that” whether its to myself or another mama…

It is so easy for me to dismiss the seemingly little things that get done throughout my day that contribute to our home running better, my body feeling better or even cause me to be more efficient at my job.

So dear mama friends, I hope you take the time to congratulate not only yourself, but other mamas, on making it another day, loving on your babies, being a bomb wife/partner, crossing off tasks on your to-list….you’re worth it and you definitely deserve it!!!!๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ

Real Life In the Mommy Hood…

If I’m being completely honest I haven’t been the most content mother for the past few weeks.

New schedules, lots to do, feeling unappreciated, and as if I am always missing or forgetting something had taken over my thoughts constantly. No matter how on it I was, I always felt like there was something missing-something that I was either forgetting or not doing correctly.

And please dont even include the added stress of being a foster parent to an actively inquisitive toddler whose birth parents I’m currently not on the best terms with.

Or thinking about how can I best help the young moms that I work with that have so many hard things going on in life.

Or just the reality that I am a wife and mother to six children…SIX!!!!

Laundry. Meals. Upkeep of our home. Schedules. Appointments. Work. Transporting to and from. Finding a babysitter.

I took on alllll of these things witb such a tight grip that I was starting to feel slighty anxious and just down…like nothing that I did was right and somehow or another there was going to be a a let down in my day. The only way that I can describe it was that I just wasn’t happy…not so sad that I couldnt get up in the morning and there were good parts of my day. But the type of sad that is bubbling right underneath the surface that showed itself when work was done. This sadness was put on display for my husband and children. A sadness that had penetrated so deep that the discontent was visible, palpable. My children would ask me if I was upset with them and I’d tell them no but they didn’t believe me…heck I didn’t believe me. My husband would ask me what was wrong and I would tell him I was fine but he could sense the shift in our home.

My family would be on edge and I was feeling like I was looking down a black hole of all the things that we undone.

But yesterday it hit me…I haven’t been good at putting me first. Yes, this is so hard for me (like so many other moms) for me to do. If I dont make myself a priority, others will follow suite. I have to be able to do the things that help me to recharge. I have to be able to create moments of peace while I have so many things going on.

I HAVE TO DO IT!!!!

And sometimes for me it isnt about spas and all of the typical things that come to mind when you think of self-care…its just taking the time to stock up on and take vitamins/supplements, walking/working out, or even taking a day off from my typical moomy duties.

So, I’m learning. Learning to listen to my body to resist burnout. Learning to take the time to recharge. Learning to say no when needed…. I want to not only live but thrive in this place called the Mommyhood.

I Am Enough…

I have a friend, Noelle Beck, who is hosting a women’s conference next month and “I Am Enough” is the theme…since I talked to her about this a few weeks ago, these three words have been ringing in my ears.

“I Am Enough” is something that I question myself about and also something that I tell myself daily.

Am I a great wife and mother? Am I a good enough Christian? Am I leading and loving my young ladies well? Am I stewarding my gifts correctly? Am I setting a good example? Am I setting the right atmosphere in our home?

Am I Enough?

I know I cant be alone with questioning every aspect of my being with those three little words, that are so heavy in weight. Am I Enough? In those moments when I feel that I’m not, I tell myself that I am. But it doesnt end with the proclamation…I ask myself where I fell short, what I can do better in that specific area and ask/thank God for His grace to get it, whatever it is, right.

So, to you my fellow mama friends…You Are Enough. Tell yourself you are, make the adjustments and accept the grace.

Happy Monday y’all!!!

**To learn more about the conference mentioned above please visit akrononpurpose.com **

Changes…

What if I told you that when I got up this morning one of the issues that came up in 2017 had presented itself today, on January 2, 2018? 

Well, this happened. And I was so tempted to handle it like I always have with negative self talk, asking why does this keep coming up for me and then the dreaded, deadly comparison game.  

The one thing that is sure is that a new year is only a new start, if you start doing new things, thinking new thoughts and building new normals. 

Nothing changes, if nothing changes…

Lets make the appropriate changes to make this year the best year yet…heres to an ever changing, productive, joy filled 2018!!!๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿฅ‚

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year Peeps!!! Bringing in a new year is always a special time to plan, reflect and dream…

2017 was a good year for me.  Although there were quite a few bumps in the road, I don’t have too many complaints. 

I learned alot.  I cried alot.  I was appreciative of alot. Here’s my 2017 rundown:

Surprise. One of the biggest surprises of 2017 was a new baby. Our family had just welcomed our bonus baby Umari in December and then at the end of January, we found out I was pregnant. I was shocked, overwhelmed and happy all at once.  This would bring our grand total of kiddies to,  drum roll please, six!!! Being pregnant with a baby isn’t the easiest but we got through it. In September we welcomed a beautiful baby boy Matthias to our crew. (Our other children were 11, 8(twins), 4, and 10 months). There was no time to practice, so I had to jump in to being a mother of six with both feet.  I was up and about my normal routine, activities/kids schedules, by time out little one was 2 weeks old. 

Grace. Grace was a word that was ingrained into my heart and mind in 2017. So many things were going on and to be honest I didn’t like them.  I can say there were so many moments, situations and people that I didn’t particularly like but I was always reminded to see them through the eyes of grace. I couldn’t change alot of it. I wanted to change alot of it. But grace gave me peace…peace that I needed to accept things and people right where they were. No judgement. No expectations. No disappointments. Just grace and the peace  to move on without letting people or their situations negatively affect my life. 

Health. Health is so important. I’ll be the first to tell you that this is something that I’ve taken for granted for way too long. I’ve had issues with my blood pressure for the past seven years. After I had our twins, my blood pressure was sky high. I was on a couple medications, but over the years I haven’t been consistent with them.  The same issues crept up in this past pregnancy. High blood pressure. Stress tests. Bi-weekly ultrasounds. Thankfully now, I’m on a couple of meds that are helping me keep things under control. I’ve started implementing vitamins, supplements and just recently a no meat regimen into my daily routine.  I feel alot better and the headaches that were a part of life are no gone.  Nothing really changed accept the fact that I woke up one day with the realization that I have six babies that need me. I want to enjoy my life and theirs too. And aging gracefully and without so many issues, is the goal. 

Speaker. I spoke at my first conference! This was amazing and scary all at once. I’m an introvert so things like this make me sweat and want to take extra long naps. However, I got through it. I left everything I had on the stage and prayed that my vulnerability would be a blessing to some one. (check out akronwomenonpurpose.com/stacyboyd)

I pray that 2017 taught you some valuable lessons that you will take into this new year.  I hope that 2018 brings you all of your hearts desires…more than that, I pray that your purpose is crystal clear and that you confudently walk in it daily….Happy New Year!!!