Early this morning I did something that was scary…I made a FB page for my blog. To most this might seem small but to me, this was a big achievement.
“Thee Mommy Diaries” is something that I love. I started this blog over five years ago when I was pregnant w/our twins. In the beginning I journaled. While I sat in so many doctor’s appointments, I wrote. I wrote about my day, what/how I was feeling. I wrote from my heart. Eventually, I started this blog to give a voice to the words that I had muted for so long.
Motherhood has been a blessing to me, something that I didn’t expect to do four times over but something that I couldn’t see myself not doing.
“Thee Mommy Diaries” started something great in me, something that I hid for a long time: my love for other mothers and the longing I have to encourage them. I absolutely love to see a woman loving God, herself, her family and her calling w/o limitations. And it gives me joy just to see and encourage other mothers’ to do the same.
I know what it’s like to doubt yourself and feel as if you are in no position to be a blessing to anyone, let alone a child. I know the guilt that comes w/choosing to have abortions and the grace that flows when you are able to carry your children fullterm when doctors said that it would be impossibility…
So I hope that you can at least get a glimpse of my heart when you read this blog. I pray that “Thee Mommy Diaries” inspires and encourages mommies to love God, themselves and their families from neverending reserve….
So, please check out my FB page “Thee Mommy Diaries” and give it a “Like”, thanks Friends!!!
I Hope That Today Brings…
I hope that today brings you peace of mind and a hope that cant be shaken no matter what the circumstances…
I hope that today brings you a refreshing that cant be explained and a passion within your soul that cant be quenched…
I hope that today brings you all that you need to keep going so that you can see tomorrow…I hope that today brings you closer to being, accomplishing and recieving everything that you should have been, accomplished and recieved yesterday but couldnt because you couldnt envision it…
I hope that today brings you a vision of yourself being whole and set free…
I hope that you truly love you today and everyday…
Never Be Ashamed To Ask For Help…
Yesterday afternoon my husband called me with some horrific news…that his friend/fraternity brother had killed himself. After asking my hubby was he okay and if there was anything that he needed from me, the analytical side of me kicked in and the questions began… I can only imagine the torment and internal battle that had to be going on within the young man for him to even consider ending his life. It just seems to me that he had to be in a dark place and feeling such an overwhelming amount of despair that he couldn’t see the light of day. It is so easy for people to be upset with the person who chose commit suicide, and that’s okay, but yesterday I felt so much empathy. Depression is real and I don’t know if it is recognized and respected as much in the black community. So many times I have heard people say pray and speak the word over yourself, heck I have even said it and did it! And yes it does work but there should be no shame or feelings of weakness or embarrassment when it comes to telling someone that you are having a struggle mentally. I believe that God is a healer and in many situations he can heal instantaneously, and in others he gives us people and resources that He works through. There should be no shame in therapy, medication or even having to take a break from our everyday responsibilities, if that means that we have a clear mind and are able to deal with our adversities in a positive, life changing way. I seriously believe that situations that we go through in life can cause an imbalance in us that continues build and build over the years if we don’t address them properly. There have been many things that have went on in my life that I swept under the rug because I didn’t want to feel as if I was weak and I followed the example of not talking about what I was feeling and how I had been affected by my closest family members. I have always heard the phrase “what happens in this house stays in this house” growing up. And for a long time that’s what I lived by and even now I have to make a choice not to revert back to this way of thinking. To live by this meant that every hurt, pain and disappointment that I felt I carried with me. I never acknowledged them or confronted the person the person that may have been attached to them, I just buried them. And every time something else happened I added it to the pile. Soon these feelings caused me to act out, feel insignificant and take on others opinions about myself. It has taken me years to finally dig up all of those pinned in emotions, sort through them and realize that I don’t have to live by what others think of me. I don’t have to be scared to voice my opinion and that I am significant no matter what happens. But it all started from within… My hope is that people realize that it is okay to need help. And that there is no wrong way to get that help. Whether it be through therapy, prayer, medication, journaling, talking to a friend, music, writing a letter or even art, just give yourself permission to feel and to release all of the negativity from your mind, body and soul. Not only that, but be a safe place for people to come to and release. More than anything this situation has taught me to always pray and to never dismiss the feelings of others…Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray that You give Your people peace. The very ones that are on the very edge of no return, I pray that You give them a glimmer of hope and show them that they are important to You and that they have a purpose on this earth. I pray that You encourage every lonely heart. And I ask that You show us how we can be a Light to those who are in darkness. Lord, I pray that there be no shame in us asking each other for help, In Jesus Name I thank You, Amen. Be Encouraged My Friends!!! xo
Monday Motivation: I Had a Choice To Make…
Yesterday I had a thought…I can either be upset because I didn’t have what I wanted or I can be grateful that I had what I needed.
Growing up I always felt jealous and insignificant because I didn’t have a family like everyone else. My mom was single, raising 3 daughters and a granddaughter alone, watching a son being completely submerged into street life, doing all that she could to keep a roof over our head and food on the table, all while dealing with her own issues on top of alcohol being more of a daily need instead of an option.
To add to her frustrations throw in one daughter who was in and out of prison, trapped in a horrible relationship and trying to escape through drug use. And then there was me…pregnant at fourteen and pretty much a replica of all that my mother was and didn’t want me to be…then multiply the demons inside her by at least a hundred when she decided that the only answer was to make me get an abortion.
Somehow over the years I never considered how all of this affected my mother emotionally. I only thought about her issues with alcohol and how I didn’t have the typical loving, affectionate mother that I thought my peers had.
But yesterday something turned…something changed. And I realized that my mother was incredibly strong. She could have gave up when she was beaten unconscious by my father or when she realized the struggle and lack that came with being a single mother. She could have gave up when she realized that she was an alcoholic or when she found out that one of her daughter’s had started smoking crack and that the other was fourteen and pregnant.
There were so many times when my mom could have chose to throw in the towel, but she didn’t. She was always a hard and faithful worker. She was at her last job for over fifteen years. No matter how many times we moved, we always had a roof over our head and a meal every night. My mother thought enough about me, us, to do whatever she had to do to keep us with shelter and more importantly with her.
I didn’t recognize that early on. I had to be important to my mom because she did everything she could to keep me cared for…she gave me what I needed and what she could… for that I am thankful.
It has been good for me to see things from a different perspective. For so long I focused on all that was wrong instead of the things that my mother tried so hard to get right. And it all came down to me making a choice…a choice to look at my life from a different angle and to be genuinely thankful for the view!
Monday Motivation: What Are You Cultivating???
Cultivate: to grow or maintain;
try to acquire or develop (a quality or skill); try to win friendship or favor of someone; to apply oneself to improving or developing (one’s mind or manners)
What are you taking the time to cultivate, in your life, this week? Is it better relationships, a fitness plan, a more scheduled day or just gratefulness?
I’m actually working on all of those things! My plan is to be more intentional in my words and actions, make sure that my to do list is current, take the time to plan my day and keep my planner w/me at all times and to step out of my comfort zone to reconnect with a few people.
Cultivating anything takes work. I have to be intentional about the growth that I want to see and water my seeds with action!
So this week, I confess that I am a cultivator of greatness! Will it be hard? Probably.
But so worth the time to be able to see God accomplish something great through and in me!
Be cultivators this week friends!
Monday Motivation: At the Very Least…
My husband spoke last night and one of the things that really stood out was the question” at the very least, what are you doing?”
So, as today’s Monday Motivation, I ask you(and myself :)) that very question “What’s the very least that you could be doing?”. And this could be in any are of your life.
-What’s the very least you could be doing to achieve your goals?
-What’s the very least you could be doing to build your confidence?
-What’s the very least you could be doing to get healthier, have better relationships, communicate better, to love others more, to live the life you really want?
The list could go on and on, but the way to the answer is the same. Action. No matter how small, do something today that will put you on the path to be being your best self…even if it’s the very least you could do, it’s something and that means progress!
The Truth About My Relationship w/Facebook…
A couple of weeks ago I started volunteering with a teen mom/young mom group. The Director asked me if I had a FB page b/c that’s a great way to keep in touch w/the girls and other leaders.
I told her no.
The truth is I had a Facebook page but I deactivated it almost 3 years ago. In the beginning, FB was a great way for me to keep in contact w/people. It’s amazing seeing people w/their families after 15 years!
Then things between Facebook and I changed. What used to bring me joy now was a constant reminder of how different things were. People I used to call friends were now just “acquantances” and to see them moving on in life was hard. I would often look through their pages, thinking that maybe if I would have did this or that, they would still be a part of my life…truth is Facebook made me seem insignificant…
So I took time off…2 3/4 years to be exact.
On Tuesday, I made the decision to reactivate…but w/boundaries. I dont spend alot of time on there, I check messages, occasionally post an update and check the statuses of the group I volunteer with.
I constantly remind myself that I am significant to God…and that’s what matters most.
The reality of the situation is that I’ve changed and my circle has changed. Can I still associate with “associates” in a cordial, loving way? Yes.
Can I pray that they are doing well w/o getting caught up what they’re doing? Most definitely.
And that my friends is my plan…To make sure that I continue to look forward…and greet those from my past w/a smile of familiarity as I keep moving toward my destiny!!!
Mommy Tip…Use a Timer!
Yes, I knoe you have probably heard it before (I definitely have!)…”Use a Timer” when doing housework.
I finally did it today. I set my oven timer to 30 minutes and got to work! I was able to wipe down countertops, empty trash, sweep the floor and light a candle in the kitchen.
Living Area: fix pillows, vacuum floor and spray furniture w/Febreeze.
Bedroom: put away laundry on bed, vacuum, straighten up dresser and spray loveseat and bed w/Febreeze.
I got a good start! The timer helped me stay focused on housework rather than social media.
So, what tips do you have for completing housework????
Happy cleaning!
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Last week I was listening to a radio program and the host asked the question, “What’s the one gift that you would give your Mother and why?”
Honestly, I have been thinking about this for the last week. My mom has been gone for the past 6 years and there is soooo much that I would give her, if I had the chance.
~ Of course, there’s money so she wouldnt have to work.
~Then there’s a special place in our home. I imagine my husband and I buying our new home specifically w/her and (his family too) in mind. A “mother-in-love suite. A bedroom big enough for her to have a den and private bath.
~And an extended lifetime is a must! I would love for my mom to see me be a mom to my for children and for her to enjoy being a grandMom.
But most importantly, the biggest gift I would give my mom would be PEACE…my mother went through alot in her lifetime and I dont think that she ever had the peace of God that brings forth healing and that gives you hope, even when times are bad.
My mom’s mother died when she was only twelve, she was the oldest of four and took on a huge responsibility of taking care of her siblings when she was just a pre-teen. She bounced around w/relatives bc her dad had a problem w/alcohol, and there was so many secrets in her life that probably caused her shame until her dying day.
Then she became a teenage mom, battered in her marriage, and a single, hard-working mother of four by the time she was 28. Throughout the years she picked up the same habit as her dad, alcohol(still working and taking care of us), and I wonder how much of a difference Peace would have made in her life…if it would have changed the way she dealt with pain and if it would have given her the courage to speak her truth and confront the hand that she was dealt in life.
I wonder if Peace would have given her the happiness that she deserved and the love that I know her soul craved…if it would have given her the courage to love God fully in spite of the things that life had brought her way…if it would have given her the means to forgive and love out of a pure heart…I wonder if peace would have mended her heart…
God I pray for peace in the hearts of mothers. I pray that from that peace, every good thing that they need in life is birthed…
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Monday Motivation: BECOMING….
So many times we (myself included) can focus on so may other things besides what we want to “become”.
We focus on what we’re not, what we don’t have, what we used to be and/or what others are rather than what we want to become…
So that’s this weeks challenge: Focus on what you want to Become! Take the time to write down what you want to become and make focus on that.
Take a step closer to your “Becoming” no matter how small.
Have a productive “Becoming” week!
Thee Mommy Diaries 