Never Be Ashamed To Ask For Help…

Yesterday afternoon my husband called me with some horrific news…that his friend/fraternity brother had killed himself.  After asking my hubby was he okay and if there was anything that he needed from me, the analytical side of me kicked in and the questions began… I can only imagine the torment and internal battle that had to be going on within the young man for him to even consider ending his life. It just seems to me that he had to be in a dark place and feeling such an overwhelming amount of despair that he couldn’t see the light of day.  It is so easy for people to be upset with the person who chose commit suicide, and that’s okay, but yesterday I felt so much empathy. Depression is real and I don’t know if it is recognized and respected as much in the black community. So many times I have heard people say pray and speak the word over yourself, heck I have even said it and did it!  And yes it does work but there should be no shame or feelings of weakness or embarrassment when it comes to telling someone that you are having a struggle mentally.  I believe that God is a healer and in many situations he can heal instantaneously, and in others he gives us people and resources that He works through.  There should be no shame in therapy, medication or even having to take a break from our everyday responsibilities, if that means that we have a clear mind and are able to deal with our adversities in a positive, life changing way.  I seriously believe that situations that we go through in life can cause an imbalance in us that continues build and build over the years if we don’t address them properly.  There have been many things that have went on in my life that I swept under the rug because I didn’t want to feel as if I was weak and I followed the example of not talking about what I was feeling and how I had been affected by my closest family members. I have always heard the phrase “what happens in this house stays in this house” growing up.  And for a long time that’s what I lived by and even now I have to make a choice not to revert back to this way of thinking. To live by this meant that every hurt, pain and disappointment that I felt I carried with me.  I never acknowledged them or confronted the person the person that may have been attached to them, I just buried them.  And every time something else happened I added it to the pile.  Soon these feelings caused me to act out, feel insignificant and take on  others opinions about myself. It has taken me years to finally dig up all of those pinned in emotions, sort through them and realize that I don’t have to live by what others think of me.  I don’t have to be scared to voice my opinion and that I am significant no matter what happens.  But it all started from within… My hope is that people realize that it is okay to need help.  And that there is no wrong way to get that help.  Whether it be through therapy, prayer, medication, journaling, talking to a friend, music, writing a letter or even art, just give yourself permission to feel and to release all of the negativity from your mind, body and soul.  Not only that, but be a safe place for people to come to and release. More than anything this situation has taught me to always pray and to never dismiss the feelings of others…Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray that You give Your people peace. The very ones that are on the very edge of no return, I pray that You give them a glimmer of hope and show them that they are important to You and that they have a purpose on this earth. I pray that You encourage every lonely heart.  And I ask that You show us how we can be a Light to those who are in darkness.  Lord, I pray that there be no shame in us asking each other for help, In Jesus Name I thank You, Amen. Be Encouraged My Friends!!! xo


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