This past weekend, my oldest sister turned 48 years old and she had a party. It was her first party and her only child planned and hosted it (insert tear). If I am being real, I was so apprehensive about going…this was basically going to be a family gathering with all the people I hadn’t seen since our sister’s funeral in November 2018 and prior to that it had been 10 years-and yes you guessed it-another funeral (my mother).








But man when I tell you my heart is full…it is full. To see my sister celebrated by her daughter, after all they have been through, is enough in itself. But for me to be able to spend time with my Only Big Brother…the first man that I ever loved, was what I really needed. To laugh and have heart talks with my mom’s sister, brother and cousins was the icing on the cake.





I always thought that I was ok with not having a relationship with my family…I was so wrong.





I didn’t know how much missed them until seeing them. I didn’t know that what I needed most, I just had to reach out for….