A couple of days ago I felt what it really felt like to forgive and really mean it…
A couple of months ago I can’t say that I felt that way. A person that I thought was a friend turned out not to be. I thought the relationship was going to lifelong but it turned out to be only for a season.
Although things didn’t turn out like I would have liked, it taught me a lot
I learned how to handle conflict. I haven’t always known how to talk to people when I’m angry. In this particular situation, I got on the spot training!!!
I thank God for being able to be honest and really ask the questions that were on my heart. Not only that, I learned that people will only do what you allow. And in this particular case all parties involved learned that I don’t tolerate disrepect and disregard for people.
For me I always thought that forgiveness was automatic b/c that’s what Jesus did and as a Christian that’s what I’m supposed to do.
But in this instance, it wasn’t automatic for me. Opening myself up to people, welcoming them into my home and my family is something that I take seriously. And when I felt
that it all
was disregarded, it was hard for me digest.
I had a hard time even mentioning
the person w/o feeling like I wanted to sock ’em (just being real lol).
I rehashed the event mentally more times than I can even count.
I prayed about it. I mean really told God how I felt…the good, bad and the ungodly. And the words that the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart were unexpected… “she doesn’t know”.
At first this was hard for me to accept. I tried to reason it out w/all the things that I thought best justified the situation. But honestly, none of it really mattered. We, people, do what we know to do. Unfortunately, what we choose to do isn’t always right. I’ve don’t it. So who am I to be mad at someone for being…who they are???
In the end, I knew that I had forgiven when I was able to pray for her w/o thinking of what happened previously. I knew that I was ok when I genuinely wanted to help her b/c what’s she going through now, I’ve overcome.
So…what does forgiveness look like to you???