Chapter Forty-One…

My birthday was yesterday…I turned 41 years young. Being in the 40’s club has been good for me, for the most part.

The one thing that I realized is that I have to be. See, I spent my 20’s and a good portion of my 30’s doing. Doing all the things that I thought I was supposed to do to be the ideal woman, Christian, wife and mother.

That was exhausting…

I didn’t have joy. All I had was obligations and things to check off of my to-do lists. But I didn’t feel as if I had purpose unless I was doing what appeared to be purposeful.

I was in it to make people OK, make sure that everyone was content except me.

Then one day I just stopped. I stopped doing what others wanted and stopped caring what they thought. Honestly, it was the best feeling ever. My mantra became “I walk in my purpose on purpose”.

Purpose means saying no. It means not making someone else’s emergency my own. It means being in the moment. Enjoying my husband and children. Going all in to love them and support them well. It means going to mini vacays to see family to have fun and be recharged. Purpose means being honest when and saying I’m not going bc I don’t feel like peopling.

The 40’s club hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. I have to deal with grief, anger and really realizing that people are people.

So even with the not so good, it’s good bc I’m learning daily to give myself the space to process and not feel as if I have to put on.

Cheers to 41…may it be another year of goodness, grace and growth!!!

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