I wish I could say that I have perfectly behaved children at all times but I can’t. Our son had the worst attitude because he couldn’t go to football practice due to the rain and while volunteering today his twin sister decided that she was going to stand in her self-made puddle…of pee.
And our youngest barely reaches my kneecap but can throw a tantrum that most kids could only dream of…
But instead of me sulking and mentally calling myself the worst mother ever, I’m choosing to not freak out.
I’m choosing to smile and be pleasant when I really want to yell and flee from my home.
I’m choosing to clean up the messes, wash the clothes, hand out the consequences, give the speeches…and continue to believe that I’m a good mom and because God gave me these children, he’ll give me the grace to handle the everyday things that come up with love and compassion.
So, cheers to a better tomorrow! Xo
☕️👍💖😀
Category: love
Time to Tighten Up…
For the past few days I have felt a little disconnected…nothing major just that inkling in the pit of my stomach that I need to tighten up on some things.
So, instead of me getting down and beating myself up, I am going to take the time tonight to pray, make out my schedule, write, re-write my personal affirmations and get back to my place of growth and personal development 🙂
What do you do when you feel the need to “tighten up”??? Xo
Monday Motivation: You Are So Much More Than Just
Happy Monday!
When people used to ask me what I did for a living, I used to say, “Oh, I’m just a stay at home wife and mom”…Just! Just a stay at home wife and mom, that was seruously my answer.
“Just” put so many limitations on me. “Just” kept me in a box, confined to a life of average…until I realized that I am so much more than “just”.
In addition to being a SAHWM, I am also a blogger, (soon to be) author, volunteer leader w/teen and young moms, encourager and lover of creativity, to name a few 😜
So, this week I hope that you dont see yourself as “just” one of the roles you’ve been given in life.
I hope that you see yourself as a valuable, purposeful person in addition to a success at whatever roles you have been so blessed to be given…You are so much more than your”Just”!!! Xo
Monday Motivation: I Had a Choice To Make…
Yesterday I had a thought…I can either be upset because I didn’t have what I wanted or I can be grateful that I had what I needed.
Growing up I always felt jealous and insignificant because I didn’t have a family like everyone else. My mom was single, raising 3 daughters and a granddaughter alone, watching a son being completely submerged into street life, doing all that she could to keep a roof over our head and food on the table, all while dealing with her own issues on top of alcohol being more of a daily need instead of an option.
To add to her frustrations throw in one daughter who was in and out of prison, trapped in a horrible relationship and trying to escape through drug use. And then there was me…pregnant at fourteen and pretty much a replica of all that my mother was and didn’t want me to be…then multiply the demons inside her by at least a hundred when she decided that the only answer was to make me get an abortion.
Somehow over the years I never considered how all of this affected my mother emotionally. I only thought about her issues with alcohol and how I didn’t have the typical loving, affectionate mother that I thought my peers had.
But yesterday something turned…something changed. And I realized that my mother was incredibly strong. She could have gave up when she was beaten unconscious by my father or when she realized the struggle and lack that came with being a single mother. She could have gave up when she realized that she was an alcoholic or when she found out that one of her daughter’s had started smoking crack and that the other was fourteen and pregnant.
There were so many times when my mom could have chose to throw in the towel, but she didn’t. She was always a hard and faithful worker. She was at her last job for over fifteen years. No matter how many times we moved, we always had a roof over our head and a meal every night. My mother thought enough about me, us, to do whatever she had to do to keep us with shelter and more importantly with her.
I didn’t recognize that early on. I had to be important to my mom because she did everything she could to keep me cared for…she gave me what I needed and what she could… for that I am thankful.
It has been good for me to see things from a different perspective. For so long I focused on all that was wrong instead of the things that my mother tried so hard to get right. And it all came down to me making a choice…a choice to look at my life from a different angle and to be genuinely thankful for the view!
Matters of My Heart…
The matters of the heart are sometimes bigger than what we acknowledge…
I have spent years with a smile on my face and appeared to be nonchalant with a heart full of anger, insecurities, hate, jealousy and envy.
I thought that just b/c people couldn’t see what was going on in my heart that it was okay. If I was nice enough or even portrayed myself as unconcerned, I thought that what was going on inside would just go away and wouldn’t harm anybody.
I was sooooo wrong! My heart affected my relationship with God, others and everything about me. There were so many things that I had in my heart that were literally killing me daily. Low self-esteem, comparisons to others and thinking that I wasn’t important all came from my heart.
Although I never spoke some things out, the very sight or thought of some people caused the ugliness of my heart to boil over into my entire being.
Everything that is good and even what’s bad starts in the heart. I’m learning to keep my heart clean by being honest with God, speaking the Word and positive affirmations and studying the a Word.
A clean heart has brought me so much freedom, peace, confidence and a more intimate, real relationship with God that goes way past what people see…it’s goes and shines a light on every dark, dingy spot that tries to keep me stagnant and sitting in a place of judgement and scorn. A clean heart keeps me in a place of humility. Always recognizing my need for my Savior. Apart from Him a clean heart is an impossibility…but w/Him, and His grace, my heart is made new…daily.
Prayers For Our Children (week #5)
Have a great week!!!
Father in the Name of Jesus, I pray that our children accept You as their Lord and Savior and be baptized and filled w/Your precious Holy Spirit. God, let them have an intimate, life changing relationship w/you. A relationship that invades every area of their life, that causes them to stand for truth even when their back is against the wall. Give them a Spirit to lead others to Christ w/compassion and love. In Jesus’ holy Name, Amen.
Father I pray that our children always have the right motives, let love and wisdom be the deciding factors in all that they do, In Jesus Name, Amen.
Father, I pray that my children be confident in themselves, because of their confidence in You. In Jesus Name, I thank You.
Father, we speak purity over our children right now. Father let them honor their bodies and have godly boundaries when it comes to the opposite sex, dating and relationships. God, I pray that
they stand strong on your standards when it comes to their bodies, sex and marriage. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Father, we speak life giving thoughts and words over our children’s minds right now. God let them think on things that are pure and lovely, let them think on You and Your Word…For this we thank You Father.
BE YOU!
One of the best ways for me to quiet myself and get alone w/God is to clean. And that’s what I was doing for awhile today…cleaning! Maybe it’s the nesting kicking in full gear or just me craving more organization in our home, either way I got some things accomplished domestically on this day all while be able to reflect and thank God for where He has brought me too!
While I was cleaning, I was just thinking. Thinking about the person that I am and strive to be as a 32 year old child of God, wife, and soon to be mother of 4. And I can honestly say that a lot has changed over the years.
I can remember back when I first made a commitment to give my all in my relationship w/God. A lot of things changed. The way I talked, where I went, who I hung out with and even the way that I viewed people. And most of this was for the better~I made a lot of changes b/c I felt a certain conviction and I no longer wanted to just please me, ultimately I wanted to please God.
And with the good changes and transitions, there were some not so good things too. One of the biggest things that I struggled w/for most of my life was highlighted and even heightened in a sense…insecurity. From as far back as I can remember I had always felt that I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, popular enough…and the list could go on and on.
And w/me being a new Christian, I felt this all over again and my list of insecurities grew. I didn’t know enough, I wasn’t social enough, I was too quiet, my testimony wasn’t big enough, I wasn’t important enough to hear from God like others, I didn’t look saved enough, I couldn’t pray like the others…
And w/my list of “I AM NOT ENOUGH’S’ growing, so did Operation “Be Someone Else”. I attempted to do, be, and conform to what I saw around me. Everything that I envied in other people I tried to take on for myself. In no way am I saying that a person cant admire or even aspire to take on a personal quality that they love about someone else, I’m just saying that I tried to BE someone else other than who God created me to be.
And w/this trying to be someone that I wasn’t came even more unhappiness. I was very unsure of myself, my gifts and even who God had called me to be. I was a people-pleaser. I looked to other people to validate me and when they didn’t, I was broken. I was constantly afraid of disappointing others. I couldn’t make decisions without checking w/others. I was always offended. Lastly, I put more into the words and opinions of others than I did into my relationship w/God.
I am so glad to say that all that has changed. I can remember one day when the Holy Spirit told me to “eat the meat and spit out the bones”. For me this meant that I was to take only what I needed to help me grow, the edifying things from those around me. This one phrase caused the light bulb to go off in my heart! I was no longer in bondage to the words and thoughts of others!
Slowly, I came to realize that God didn’t make a mistake when He created me. I am an introvert and I am okay w/that. For a long time I thought that since mostly all the people around me were extroverts, I was defective. But soon, I realized I wasn’t. I have a quiet spirit. I love to spend time by myself. I like to watch people and how they respond to others. I don’t like to respond too quickly. I am who God made me.
However, I realized that God can work through my personality if I let Him. There have been many times when God just opens me up and gives me the opportunity to have some very meaningful conversations with people, and in those moments I know it is Him at work. And in these times, I am so thankful b/c more than anything I know that I have made a genuine connection w/someone…even if it was for just a moment in time.
The point of this whole post is this~Be YOU. Be the you who God created you to be from the beginning of time!!! Yes, being You may take you taking some w/God and totally renewing your thinking, but it is so worth it! Having a true, authentic relationship w/God and to know yourself and love who He created you to be is the best gift that you could possibly give to others and yourself! BE YOU!!!!! The true you. The God centered and created You…just BE YOU:-)
>Back To Normal…………
>For the past week and a half, my mother-in-law has been in town and having her help has been great! I have been able to come and go without dropping the kids off, take some time to myself without having to plan it a week in advance, and I didn’t even have to worry about changing too many diapers………
But tomorrow morning things will be back to normal. I am dreading it a little because the kids haven’t been on their normal routine……..so, adjustments will be made! But I am glad that my children got a chance to spend a lot of quality time with their grandmother and just enjoy being in her presence.
With a lot of prayer, patience, and persistence, the Boyd Family routine will back in full effect. But until tomorrow, we, as a family, will just enjoy being together just to be together………
Miracles and Blessings
Thee Mommy Diaries 