What Sanctity of Human Life Day Means to me…

Before I really couldn’t appreciate Sanctity of Human Life Day…until I was told that I would never be a mother.
When I was 14 I got pregnant for the first time. Being scared, naive and having no support-I hid it for about five months. When my mom found out she was livid and told me that she wasn’t raising anymore babies and took me to have an abortion. It wasn’t something that we discussed and I didn’t fully understand…all I knew was that I wasn’t pregnant anymore and my baby was dead.
From this point on I made an inner vow that I wouldn’t be a mother because obviously I wouldn’t be good at it.
At 21, I ended up pregnant again. Having this baby was not an option for me. The guy I was pregnant by wasn’t the best and I knew I’d be nothing more than a “baby mama”.
So again, I chose to abort my child. I went through it alone again…I suffered in silence.
Two years later….yep, you guessed it I was pregnant for the third time!!! However I decided that this time I was having my baby and was mentally prepared to go it alone. After 8 weeks, I miscarried and I was devastated. I went to see my ob gyn and was time something that I was never expecting…the prior abortions I had had damaged my cervix. She said that could conceive w/no problems but by body refused to carry a child full-term. I was devastated and so angry that I had did this to myself.
Fast forward a few years, I got married to a great man who always wanted to be a father. I had to tell him what I was told and because of his faith he wasn’t shaken.
I got pregnant on our wedding night and exactly nine months later, we had a healthy baby girl. Three years later, we were expecting twins. I carried them 39 weeks and a day. And almost two years ago, we had our son Majer.
God forgives and restores. I forgave myself for my mistakes and I forgave my mom…she was a young mom also. And in her own way, she didn’t want me to struggle like she had.
For me Sanctity of Human Life Day means so much now because I can vividly remember a time in my life when it meant so little….xo

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About TheeMommyDiaries

Believer•Wife•Mother of Four•Writer•Encourager who believes that everyone is Significant• Speaker•Mentor

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