Real Life In the Mommy Hood…

If I’m being completely honest I haven’t been the most content mother for the past few weeks.

New schedules, lots to do, feeling unappreciated, and as if I am always missing or forgetting something had taken over my thoughts constantly. No matter how on it I was, I always felt like there was something missing-something that I was either forgetting or not doing correctly.

And please dont even include the added stress of being a foster parent to an actively inquisitive toddler whose birth parents I’m currently not on the best terms with.

Or thinking about how can I best help the young moms that I work with that have so many hard things going on in life.

Or just the reality that I am a wife and mother to six children…SIX!!!!

Laundry. Meals. Upkeep of our home. Schedules. Appointments. Work. Transporting to and from. Finding a babysitter.

I took on alllll of these things witb such a tight grip that I was starting to feel slighty anxious and just down…like nothing that I did was right and somehow or another there was going to be a a let down in my day. The only way that I can describe it was that I just wasn’t happy…not so sad that I couldnt get up in the morning and there were good parts of my day. But the type of sad that is bubbling right underneath the surface that showed itself when work was done. This sadness was put on display for my husband and children. A sadness that had penetrated so deep that the discontent was visible, palpable. My children would ask me if I was upset with them and I’d tell them no but they didn’t believe me…heck I didn’t believe me. My husband would ask me what was wrong and I would tell him I was fine but he could sense the shift in our home.

My family would be on edge and I was feeling like I was looking down a black hole of all the things that we undone.

But yesterday it hit me…I haven’t been good at putting me first. Yes, this is so hard for me (like so many other moms) for me to do. If I dont make myself a priority, others will follow suite. I have to be able to do the things that help me to recharge. I have to be able to create moments of peace while I have so many things going on.

I HAVE TO DO IT!!!!

And sometimes for me it isnt about spas and all of the typical things that come to mind when you think of self-care…its just taking the time to stock up on and take vitamins/supplements, walking/working out, or even taking a day off from my typical moomy duties.

So, I’m learning. Learning to listen to my body to resist burnout. Learning to take the time to recharge. Learning to say no when needed…. I want to not only live but thrive in this place called the Mommyhood.

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