For the past two days I’ve been celebrating my children…our oldest turned ten yesterday (insert look of complete shock due to my first baby entering double digits) and our youngest turned three today!
While I’m excited that our children are growing and loving all that comes with being a year older, I’m also reflecting on being a mother…I am so blessed to be a mother and to even have days where I feel like I’m doing something right is icing on my “Mommy” cake!! Growing up I didn’t want to be a mother. At fourteen I got pregnant for the first time and had an abortion. Another abortion, a miscarriage and the reality of being told that my two previous abortions had caused major damage on my cervix and that my chances of carrying a baby full term were slim to none.
Honestly, I felt like I had ruined my chances at being a decent mom…before I even had a chance to experience loving someone I created, it was ended…by me. And for that I had so much guilt and an emptiness that I couldn’t explain. For years I blamed myself and put on a tough facade to cover the pain.
Then after I got married, I immediately got pregnant. I was so scared that something would go wrong. But it didn’t. And the same happened with my two following pregnancies-I carried full term and beautiful, healthy babies were born.
For that I’m thankful. So as I celebrate my children, I celebrate myself and the gift of mothethood and thank God for the life that he’s giving me…I’m truly grateful❤️