Can’t completely put into words my feelings on the murders in South Carolina this week…I’m saddened that nine people are dead bc of hate.

I’m also baffled that in 2015 there are still people who hate others for no other reason that for the color of their skin. I’m numb because honestly I can’t say that I’m surprised…

I’m thoughtful because I have four children, two sons, that we as parents will have to have an honest talk with about racism. How do you tell your children that there is a possibility that people will dislike you, possibly even hate you, think less of you as person just because your skin color is different from theirs? How do you explain that just because another person has a heart full of hate, it’s still our responsibility as God’s people to love, be respectable and respectful and live with an open heart when so many things happen in our world that makes you want to be guarded and cold?

I’m thankful that even in the midst of living in a world full of racism, I can truly tell my children that there is love and we live in the center of it.

I’m encouraged bc I know that I have hope. Hope that things will get better and a heart to love no matter what.

I’m feeling burdened. Burdened to pray…to live my life and help raise our family in a home where lives are colorless and every person matters. 

I’m feeling determined to keep an open heart and be an example of Christ’s grace, truth and love throughout the earth…

Just read a Facebook post about sharing your gifts…the gist of it was that we were created to share our gifts (talents, whatever we are good at) generously with others.

This statement got me thinking….am I really sharing my gifts generously? Or am I holding them captive to fear, comparisons or even small/limited expectations? 

And I’d have to say “yes”.

Have I shared my gifts? Yes…on a small scale. This blog is a start. But honestly I haven’t been as consistent as I should and sometimes things that I want to discuss I don’t.

So I’m challenging myself to think bigger and to share my gifts more. Who’s with me?!?!🎁🎁🎁

So, this morning a met a friend of mine for coffee ☕️ (my favorite thing to do by far). We just started, well I guess you can say renewed our relationship, a few months back.

We were able to talk, be open and honest, apologize to each other and move forward.

So when I got a text from her last week about us meeting up and her having something big to tell me, I was geeked!!!! Of course me being the analyzer that I am, I knew it was a life changing decision. With her heart for people, especially teens, I pondered it being something to do with her starting a non-profit.

Oh, was I far off! Yes, she is doing even more amazing work young people. But her news was more personal.

She stepped out on faith and did something that would change her life and renew her peace. And I couldn’t be more proud!! To see her transform, grow and make her self-care top priority is inspirational. Man, it’s good to see people live their life without apology and to please God first and foremost!!!

So, to anyone who’s facing a life altering decision…you can do it. You are well able to make the best decision for your life, with faith in God, yourself and in the process. No, I’m not saying that it won’t hurt or things won’t be hard, but you can do it w/a positive attitude, renewed strength and hope for a better tomorrow….so step out on faith and make the impossible possible!❤️❤️❤️

One of the hardest things to do in life is to trust that the puzzle will be complete…even when you can’t see all the pieces. 

Life has so many ups, downs and moments of coasting…stay the course and continue to belief that they best is yet to come…❤️

Most of the time Mother’s Day is great but for some it can be a constant reminder of a wrong decision…and I can relate.

Mother’s Day was a time when I thought about the choices I had made and the lives that were supposed to be that aren’t. I had two abortions. One when I was fourteen and another when I was twenty. Then at 22 I had a miscarriage. I was told that due to my previous abortions, I had caused severe damage to my cervix. So instead of my body doing all that it could to sustain life it did the opposite…Fast forward 10 plus years and my husband and I have 4 children, including a set of twins. We didn’t have  any complications and all my pregnancies were full term. This was all because of God’s grace. 

So for the mothers who are childless, I pray that you forgive yourself and recieve forgiveness from God. There will probably always be a tender place in your heart but there doesn’t have to be condemnation. You made bad decisions you are not a bad person. I pray that God’s peace envelopes you on this day and everyday. I pray that even in what might have been one of your worst moments, I pray that God turns it around for your good and that you help others in that very same place.

So today on the day that we celebrate mothers’, I celebrate you, your bravery and all the greatness that is to come for you… 

One thing I’ve realized is that we will do what’s important to us…

Sometimes we can have the best intentions and say the words that mean so much, but our actions can go in a totally different direction.  And most times I honestly don’t believe it’s not because people are mean, evil or bad- it’s just that if someone or something is no longer important, you no longer put in the effort to cause/sustain growth….

So my point is to say that if something or someone is important to you, do what needs to be done.  And if you happen to be one the other end, the one that is no longer inportant to someone, don’t take it personally. Learn from the experience. Love even when it’s not reciprocated and keep living! Always know that your opinion about yourself is most important…no matter what❤️

One of the hardest things for me to do is focus on me.  Being a wife, mother, sister, friend and ❤️er of Christ always seem so much more important….there’s always something to do, cook, clean and someone to help.

I was listening to a podcast this morning about developing my talents. The speaker was saying that we are really doing ourselves an injustice when we focus so much on our weaknesses instead of developing our strengths. I can so relate to this!!! I’m always thinking about what I didn’t do right or enough of instead of putting more time into my writing and building a positive place for mothers to be encouraged.

In a way focusing on my weaknesses is easier…they are something that I’ve attached myself to for along time and without them being front and center, dare I say that I’d be doing something that would cause me to step out of my comfort zone and bring to reality the person I see so vividly in my daydreams???

Yes that has to be it. Focusing on the bad takes little to no effort and focusing on my gifts takes planning, studying and being accountable to the One who gave me such grand visions of what I can do and be…

Having a new focus is going to take some time and work. But I’m up for the challenge. It’s time for me to focus on making what’s inside of me visible to all…. 

Fight is what’s needed in most relationships…I’m willing to fight for my family.

I’m willing to voice my unconditional love to them and let my actions follow suit. I’m willing to be uncomfortable and have the hard conversations so that there is clarity and my intentions are fully known to them. 

I’m willing to go the extra mile and reassure them that I have their best interest at heart.

 I’m willing to do what’s needed to safe guard our relationship and take the necessary steps to ensure that we are thriving together.

I’m willing to pray, forgive, step aside when needed, create memories and believe the best…and all this is apart of the fight.

This has been a tough week! So much was going on and all I wanted to do was fix the situation.

Me attempting to fix the situation within my own power and plans lead to me being stressed, upset and completely emotional…

Not until I stepped away from everything did I see that I can’t do everything. I can’t fix everything. I can’t make everyone happy…and that’s ok. What I can do is pray. Be lead by God’s Spirit. Do the right thing the right way…

The lesson in all this…sometimes you have to take the time to step away from the situation to avoid making the wrong decision based on emotions and not wisdom❤️

For the most part, my “whys” have always been my God, my husband and children.
I always wanted to do better and be better for them. But tonight something clicked as I was coming home from volunteering w/my teen and young moms: I want to be better for them too.
As I was thinking about all I had to do to prep for tomorrow, honestly I wanted to put it all off, take a hot shower and go to bed.
But I couldn’t. For one my family depends on me. Two, it’s what I’m supposed to do as a wife, mother and “home manager”. And three, because I want to encourage and inspire all the young ladies that I spend my Tuesday’s with to be the best at whatever it is they have to do.
I don’t want to just be the person giving them all the advice without working on me first.
I want to be an example of what a woman with standards, morals and faith is. I want them to be able to see themselves in me…they are my new whys💜💜