Category: support

What Will It Look Like?

Leave a comment

If I’m being completely honest, it’s on 10:15am and I’m ready to call it quits for the day. I’m a my wits end. I’m tired. I’m irritated. I’m embarrassed. I’ve ugly cried.

I’m the mother of a 5 year old child who has ADHD, possibly ODD, and sensory issues.

We brought our son home at 3 weeks old. As fast as it seems, the days are longer than I could ever imagine. I don’t wake up to a quiet house or the smell of coffee brewing. I’m usually met with chaos, yelling and some type of disarray. There is rarely a moment of peace. It’s usually a fight with a sibling, a mess that needs to be cleaned or yelling bc he didn’t get his way.

Yall it’s hard. It’s draining. It’s exhausting.

Just today we went to our usually weekly event and he ran through the parking lot. When I finally caught him and got him in the building, he ran out again. I dragged him back inside to where he ran under a table…finally, I called it quits and just scooped him under one arm, grabbed my younger son by the hand and left. It was too much. Chaos makes me anxious and I feel like everything is unraveling. And on top of all that, I feel horrible that my youngest missed out on being involved in something that he loves. But I guess right now, this is what my life looks like.

And If I’m letting you see my heart, this sucks. I amd in the very midst of discomfort and everything that I hate. And I hate that I hate it… I hate that I am not just letting all of this roll of my back. I hate that I don’t feel gracious. I hate that even though I’m praying, seeking medical providers, creating routines and doing all that the books say that I should, our son is still not okay. I mean if I feel like this as the mother, I can’t imagine the unrest and chaos that’s swirling in his head, body and heart 24/7…

What will the future look like? What does advocating for and loving our son well look like? What does it look like to love our other 5 children well while navigating through his behavioral issues without neglecting their needs?

What will it all look like?

I can’t say. But what I can say is that I have to take this moment to regroup and redirect negative behaviors. For my own sanity, I can’t live in the “what if” mode.

I can’t say for sure what it will all look like but I can continue to put the blocks in place to build a steady and firm foundation. I’ll continue to learn and apply what I can while teaching him the tools to calm himself and self correct. I’ll continue to pray and have him speak good things over himself. We will continue to consult with his doctors and adjust when we need too. I’ll continue to start over minute by minute.

And I’ll continue to trust God that it will all look exactly as I should…

Advertisement

Hard Things.

Leave a comment

I dont like hard things…especially when it comes to people and circumstances. We could all pretty much say that right???

Well, for me this is so true. Maybe bc I’m such a laid back, nonchalant (on the outside) person or maybe bc the thought of inconveniencing others makes me want to break out in a sweat.

Either way, “peopling” can be hard for me. Which is why this is so much for interesting…my job, well my purpose, centers around people!!! Young mothers, young women to be exact. And yall…this is no cake walk!!!

Emotions. Problems. Insecurities. Generational curses. Just not knowing how to handle some things. Lack of attention. Not knowing their worth.

All these things play a role. All these things are familiar. All these things cant go unaddressed for too long.

And again…its hard. Hard to know how to love others well enough so that when you correct them they dont break. Hard enough to nurture and not allow wrong behavior. Hard to give your all when it’s easier to shut down and back off. Hard to go through the muddy waters and not come out covered in filth.

Its hard but there is so much at stake. What I’m learning is that my purpose isn’t going to be lived out doing things that are easy. Being relational, “peopling”, loving others well are not and will never be easy tasks. But they are essential and needed more than anything else.

So for me I’ve decided to not go through the muddy waters trying to avoid the filfth… I’m going to go through, come out, rinse off and clean myself up, and go in again prepared to bring someone, something good, out with me💜

First Teachers…

Leave a comment

Parenthood has so many twist and turns. Some days I am completely convinced that I am crushing it! My planner is up to date (including color coded events and a current to-do list that has checks by the majority of the items), the kids have had a hot breakfast before school, the house is clean, lines are in the freshly vacuumed carpet and it smells like either a tropical fruit or a warm sugar cookie, and I am dressed in appropriately cute mom attire and lip gloss is applied before 8am.  Then some days it’s the complete opposite. I get up late, the kids are scarfing down cereal, the house is a wreck and I may have picked up one of my youngest from school in my slippers… On those not so good days, it is so easy for me to criticize myself on how I should have gotten up earlier and if I only would have planned the night before, instead of falling asleep with my baby, I could have been deemed a success by the imaginary “mothering board” (these people exist solely in my head when I having not so good days, especially on the mommy front).

But one of the things that has stood out to me as of lately is that I am teaching my children, even if it isn’t intentional. As parents we have to set a standard for our children so that when they grow up and go away from home they have an example to refer back too.  Hopefully that example is a good one.

I want my children to always be able to recognize what real love is and does because of our home. I want them to know what a healthy relationship is because of our marriage. I want them to be able to take care of their home and be faithful to their families and careers because they have seen it from us first. I also want my babies to know how to live gracefully and be able to start again, with a clear mind and heart, when things go left.  All of it starts from home…Our Home…Their First School with us as Their First Teachers.

So today as you go about being a fabulous mama, think about what you are teaching your babies…on purpose and by example

Balance…Is It Possible?!?

Leave a comment

Over the past week or so, I’ve been thinking alot about balance. 

Is there any such thing?

We have been pretty productive during this season. 

Marriage. 4.5 Children + 1 Bonus Baby (through foster care). Home Manager. Working Part-time. 

Honestly, there isnt a lot of me time. I love the idea of self-care but when the rubber hits the road, I have to make the best of our situation. While I would love to go get a pedicure and spend some time alone, honestly I have loads of laundry that need to be washed, dryed and folded so the best that I can do is listen to one of my favorite podcast and read a chapter in a book while I wait for my children at baseball practice.

I know it won’t always be like this but for right now I have to grab the moments when and where I can. So to all my mommy friends, take the little moments until the big ones are available. 

My Light🔥🔥🔥

Leave a comment

Being who I am hasn’t always come easy for me,

I used to be so focused on the opinions of others that I couldn’t recognize that I was made in the image of perfection.

I was created by the Greatest Creator who creates without making any mistakes.

I couldn’t recognize the light that was glowing ever so dimly on the inside of me.

The Light that was once aglow became a tenth of what it used to be. Words and opinions of others caused my once bright light to become dim, diminished, unrecongnizable–I allowed others to fan my flame. To make it smaller, less than what it was created to be.

Then one day, everything clicked. It was time for me to re-light my flame…and I did. Day by day, my light began to shine brighter because of what I thought about me. I went to my Creator for more…more Wisdom. more Confidence. more Love. Purpose. Affirming. Forgiveness. more Positivity. more of His Power.

My light has returned…and it’s here to stay. 

 

Happy New Year!!!

Leave a comment

Happy Happy New Year!!! 

Starting a new year brings so many possibilities…and with those possibilties come planning, goal setting and change. More than anything, I’m excited about being Better this year. As a matter of fact, one of my key phrases for 2016, is Level Up.

For me this year is about Leveling Up in every area of my life…marriage, motherhood, my purpose, health, being a home manager, organization, my blog  and business, finances…Level Up!!! 

So cheers to 2016 and all of us being our best, most productive selves!!!

Happy New Year!!!! 

 

Love Compels…💞

2 Comments

Love is one the strongest emotions one can have.
It can be the one thing that drives you, causes you ACT and not just feel.
Love…Compels. Leads. Creates.
Love turns empathy into action and a conversation into a plan.
Love picks up where words left off.
Love creates an opportunity where there was once only a problem.
Love transforms a negative into a positive.
Love changes. Love forgives. Love accepts and moves on without being disrespectful.
What is LOve compelling you to do??

Beauty…💞

Leave a comment

You’re beautiful because you were created with a specific purpose and a destiny…
You’re beautiful because of the light that you shed into the lives of so many…
You’re beautiful because even though people have failed you over and over…you still choose to love and forgive
You’re beautiful because you’re kind, loving and so gracious
You’re beautiful because the dreams you dream are to help others be their best…
You’re beautiful because success means fulfilling your purpose and has nothing to do with your possessions or what type of handbags you carry…
You’re beautiful because you see the good in others and not just the reflection of the bad from their pasts…
Your beautiful because your always seeking to be better by knowing your Creator better…
Your beauty runs deep…not because it’s from what you look like or what you have, but because it comes from your heart and your desire to be a help to those in need…
You’re beautiful just because you are you💜

SHE…

Leave a comment

She woke up one morning and finally realized that she could do all that she feared she couldn’t before…
Every dream that seemed so far away now looked as if it was now within her reach…
All the things that she secretly desired no longer felt as if they were meant for someone else…
She finally realized that all that she ever needed was within her and that she was the only one who could give her life meaning.
She realized it.
She did the work.
She lived the life she always dreamed about…

The Younger Me…

2 Comments

For the past six months or so, I’ve been volunteering at a local ministry w/their teen and young moms. Every Tuesday I get to go have dinner and interact with some of the most amazing young women.
Every week I come home so grateful that God chose me…
Literally I feel as if I’m able to love on my “younger self”.
The younger me who was so insecure and broken that I thought shutting out the world was the best thing to do…
The me that just wanted to be in a relationship where I knew that I was cared about, even in the simplest of ways…
The me that was so self-absorbed that I thought material things would show people that I was worthy of being deemed significant…
The me that thought that if I drank enough and partied enough, I could get the images of family members looking at me as if I was nothing, because I was my mother’s child, out of my mental bank…
The me that opted out of motherhood early on b/c I feared that I had nothing to give to a child…
Every week these things come into play. Every week I get to hug someone, talk to someone, love on someone’s baby in hopes that the “younger me” that I identify w/in them, can somehow know that eventually you’ll realize that you’re worth more than rubies…Xo