The Younger Me…

For the past six months or so, I’ve been volunteering at a local ministry w/their teen and young moms. Every Tuesday I get to go have dinner and interact with some of the most amazing young women.
Every week I come home so grateful that God chose me…
Literally I feel as if I’m able to love on my “younger self”.
The younger me who was so insecure and broken that I thought shutting out the world was the best thing to do…
The me that just wanted to be in a relationship where I knew that I was cared about, even in the simplest of ways…
The me that was so self-absorbed that I thought material things would show people that I was worthy of being deemed significant…
The me that thought that if I drank enough and partied enough, I could get the images of family members looking at me as if I was nothing, because I was my mother’s child, out of my mental bank…
The me that opted out of motherhood early on b/c I feared that I had nothing to give to a child…
Every week these things come into play. Every week I get to hug someone, talk to someone, love on someone’s baby in hopes that the “younger me” that I identify w/in them, can somehow know that eventually you’ll realize that you’re worth more than rubies…Xo

Sometimes…

Sometimes the things/circumstances that catch you off guard and cause you to question everything…are the very things that you needed to elevate you to where you need to be❤️❤️❤️
Enjoy the journey!!!

What I’m Learning From the Death of Mike Brown…

There is so much going on in our world today that is just heartbreaking and it shows me how far we’ve come but in so many ways how things are still the same…
For the past week or so social media, news, and other outlets have been ablaze w/updates on the death of a young black man, Mike Brown.
For the first time in awhile this situation made me think, what is it that my husband and I will tell our sons and daughters about the world that we live in?
How can we tell them that there are some people who won’t like you or think you are of no value just because of the color of your skin? How do you explain this w/o crushing their innocence and hope in love?
We have been so blessed to know and be friends w/some pretty amazing people of different races. More than anything I think that God has put our family in a place to show others that we are not that much different from them and to subtly lay to rest the things that they’ve heard or thought about black people…and vice versa.
The one thing that I do know is that my husband I are raising Godly, assertive, purpose filled children who know who God has created them to be. I can’t say that they will never encounter a bad experience b/c of the color of their skin but I can say that we will teach our children to love and respect everyone and to never allow the opinion of others cause them to question their worth and purpose in life…
Praying for our world…Xo

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What Came From Being Outside Of My Comfort Zone…

“Great things never come from comfort zones”
I seen this quote today and it totally resonated deep within me. It seems as if for the past few months very few things I have done have been within my comfort zone. You see, I’m an introvert and I thrive in small, routine based settings. And for the last three months my life has been anything but what I’m used too.
We left our small church, my husband is head coach of a high school football (which came with rebuilding a program and me being a big part of the booster club), I’m volunteering as a leader in a teen/young mom group, our children are all starting a new school, I went to my first writers retreat w/new people and 90% of the people I have been interacting w/as of lately are new.
Although at times all the new things that are going on make my head spin and cause exhaustion, it’s all exciting! It’s exciting to do things that in the past would cause me to either shrink in fear or be stagnant,knowing that to move and do something different would push me to new limits.
Throughout it all, I’m thankful.
I’m thankful to be in a place where I’m forced to see and do things differently than before. Being outside of my comfort zone has caused me to grow and nurture the woman that I am destined to become. New opportunities and relationships, a changed mind and a beautiful portrait of what’s to come came from being outside of my comfort zone…xo

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The Joys of Doing Something New…

This weekend I am on a writing retreat!! It’s seven of us total, in a little comfy house out in the middle of nowhere.
There have been many great moments. Many moments of honesty and vulnerability shared amongst people who can on some level relate to or empathize with the impactful, sometimes heavy words, that flow from your heart.
One of the best times for me was when we discussed what it means to be a “writer”.
I didn’t realize the fear that I had when it came to calling myself a “writer”. Blogger, okay I’ll go with it. But to really say that I was a writer was something that I wouldn’t do because to me it signified a sense of accomplishment. Being a writer used to be something that I felt was unattainable. Something that I wasn’t worthy enough to achieve because I haven’t finished and published a book that has sold thousands upon thousands of copies…
But you know what I learned?
I learned that I’m a writer because that’s what I do-I write. I best express myself with words and that is my God given artistry…
More than anything I’m coming away from this retreat KNOWING that I am a writer and being confident in the fact that I will finish my book, I will finish many books, because it is my duty to share my artistry with the world…

A Better Tomorrow…

I wish I could say that I have perfectly behaved children at all times but I can’t. Our son had the worst attitude because he couldn’t go to football practice due to the rain and while volunteering today his twin sister decided that she was going to stand in her self-made puddle…of pee.
And our youngest barely reaches my kneecap but can throw a tantrum that most kids could only dream of…
But instead of me sulking and mentally calling myself the worst mother ever, I’m choosing to not freak out.
I’m choosing to smile and be pleasant when I really want to yell and flee from my home.
I’m choosing to clean up the messes, wash the clothes, hand out the consequences, give the speeches…and continue to believe that I’m a good mom and because God gave me these children, he’ll give me the grace to handle the everyday things that come up with love and compassion.
So, cheers to a better tomorrow! Xo
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Time to Tighten Up…

For the past few days I have felt a little disconnected…nothing major just that inkling in the pit of my stomach that I need to tighten up on some things.
So, instead of me getting down and beating myself up, I am going to take the time tonight to pray, make out my schedule, write, re-write my personal affirmations and get back to my place of growth and personal development 🙂
What do you do when you feel the need to “tighten up”??? Xo

My Children Suddenly Forgot To Say Thank You…

For the past week or so, there has been a reoccurring theme with our children…them not saying thank you. They say it after I tell them that they didn’t, but it’s after the fact and it just doesn’t feel the same.
A couple of hours ago the same thing happened. They asked for hot tea (one of their favorites), I made it and then called them in the kitchen to get it. And they got their little teacups and walked right back into the den.
I called them back into the kitchen and reminded them that they didn’t say “thank you”. Of course they said, “oh, thank you Mom”…
This time it wasn’t enough. I made them put their teacups back on the countertop. I explained to them that saying thank you is how you show appreciation and if they don’t do it at home with me, then they won’t do it outside of home. And if they aren’t appreciative, then they won’t get what it is that they wanted.
So, my plan of action is to address this again during dinner, to look up some scriptures to give them and to continue to bring their attention to how important being thankful is.
So, how do you deal with your children if/when they forget their manners?
Xo

Monday Motivation: You Are So Much More Than Just

Happy Monday!
When people used to ask me what I did for a living, I used to say, “Oh, I’m just a stay at home wife and mom”…Just! Just a stay at home wife and mom, that was seruously my answer.
“Just” put so many limitations on me. “Just” kept me in a box, confined to a life of average…until I realized that I am so much more than “just”.
In addition to being a SAHWM, I am also a blogger, (soon to be) author, volunteer leader w/teen and young moms, encourager and lover of creativity, to name a few 😜
So, this week I hope that you dont see yourself as “just” one of the roles you’ve been given in life.
I hope that you see yourself as a valuable, purposeful person in addition to a success at whatever roles you have been so blessed to be given…You are so much more than your”Just”!!! Xo

Monday Motivation: I Had a Choice To Make…

Yesterday I had a thought…I can either be upset because I didn’t have what I wanted or I can be grateful that I had what I needed.
Growing up I always felt jealous and insignificant because I didn’t have a family like everyone else. My mom was single, raising 3 daughters and a granddaughter alone, watching a son being completely submerged into street life, doing all that she could to keep a roof over our head and food on the table, all while dealing with her own issues on top of alcohol being more of a daily need instead of an option.
To add to her frustrations throw in one daughter who was in and out of prison, trapped in a horrible relationship and trying to escape through drug use. And then there was me…pregnant at fourteen and pretty much a replica of all that my mother was and didn’t want me to be…then multiply the demons inside her by at least a hundred when she decided that the only answer was to make me get an abortion.
Somehow over the years I never considered how all of this affected my mother emotionally. I only thought about her issues with alcohol and how I didn’t have the typical loving, affectionate mother that I thought my peers had.
But yesterday something turned…something changed. And I realized that my mother was incredibly strong. She could have gave up when she was beaten unconscious by my father or when she realized the struggle and lack that came with being a single mother. She could have gave up when she realized that she was an alcoholic or when she found out that one of her daughter’s had started smoking crack and that the other was fourteen and pregnant.
There were so many times when my mom could have chose to throw in the towel, but she didn’t. She was always a hard and faithful worker. She was at her last job for over fifteen years. No matter how many times we moved, we always had a roof over our head and a meal every night. My mother thought enough about me, us, to do whatever she had to do to keep us with shelter and more importantly with her.
I didn’t recognize that early on. I had to be important to my mom because she did everything she could to keep me cared for…she gave me what I needed and what she could… for that I am thankful.
It has been good for me to see things from a different perspective. For so long I focused on all that was wrong instead of the things that my mother tried so hard to get right. And it all came down to me making a choice…a choice to look at my life from a different angle and to be genuinely thankful for the view!