Tag: parenting

Everyone Needs One…

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Our five year old is my husband’s football team’s biggest fan. He goes to practice everyday. He’s cheering the loudest at the games. He asks each player their name.

Last week, they lost. Umari was there…sad and couldn’t understand why the Rams didn’t win. “I told them to run” was his response.

He walked inside the gate and high fived every player and coach that walked by.

After the game, our family stood by the gate, as usual, and waited for my husband to come over…not Umari.

Umari and the football team🏈

And that’s when it hit me…everyone needs a cheerleader. A person who’s there to celebrate when the times are good and the person to encourage and just be there when times aren’t so good. Think about it, the cheerleaders are there no matter what the score is or how the team is doing, they’re there.

As much as we need a cheerleader, be someone’s cheerleader…everybody needs one 🫶🏽

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What Will It Look Like?

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If I’m being completely honest, it’s on 10:15am and I’m ready to call it quits for the day. I’m a my wits end. I’m tired. I’m irritated. I’m embarrassed. I’ve ugly cried.

I’m the mother of a 5 year old child who has ADHD, possibly ODD, and sensory issues.

We brought our son home at 3 weeks old. As fast as it seems, the days are longer than I could ever imagine. I don’t wake up to a quiet house or the smell of coffee brewing. I’m usually met with chaos, yelling and some type of disarray. There is rarely a moment of peace. It’s usually a fight with a sibling, a mess that needs to be cleaned or yelling bc he didn’t get his way.

Yall it’s hard. It’s draining. It’s exhausting.

Just today we went to our usually weekly event and he ran through the parking lot. When I finally caught him and got him in the building, he ran out again. I dragged him back inside to where he ran under a table…finally, I called it quits and just scooped him under one arm, grabbed my younger son by the hand and left. It was too much. Chaos makes me anxious and I feel like everything is unraveling. And on top of all that, I feel horrible that my youngest missed out on being involved in something that he loves. But I guess right now, this is what my life looks like.

And If I’m letting you see my heart, this sucks. I amd in the very midst of discomfort and everything that I hate. And I hate that I hate it… I hate that I am not just letting all of this roll of my back. I hate that I don’t feel gracious. I hate that even though I’m praying, seeking medical providers, creating routines and doing all that the books say that I should, our son is still not okay. I mean if I feel like this as the mother, I can’t imagine the unrest and chaos that’s swirling in his head, body and heart 24/7…

What will the future look like? What does advocating for and loving our son well look like? What does it look like to love our other 5 children well while navigating through his behavioral issues without neglecting their needs?

What will it all look like?

I can’t say. But what I can say is that I have to take this moment to regroup and redirect negative behaviors. For my own sanity, I can’t live in the “what if” mode.

I can’t say for sure what it will all look like but I can continue to put the blocks in place to build a steady and firm foundation. I’ll continue to learn and apply what I can while teaching him the tools to calm himself and self correct. I’ll continue to pray and have him speak good things over himself. We will continue to consult with his doctors and adjust when we need too. I’ll continue to start over minute by minute.

And I’ll continue to trust God that it will all look exactly as I should…

16 for ’16…

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2016 has been a good year…went by seemingly quick but it has been full. Full of good and some not so good…

Here’s 16 things that I’m thankful for in the year 2016…

#1 Community. During this year I have seen ppl support us in great ways. Our church, neighborhood and school have been a steady stream of support and encouragement.

#2 Minivan. The younger me never seen myself as a minivan driver, couldnt even wrap my mind around the possibility. But the 36 year old, mama of a crew- took a dive into the unknown land of minivans and has never returned. My 2013 Honda Odyssey, Heather the Honda, is neva, eva leaving!!!

#3 Hospitality. This year I have cooked more meals than all my years put together. Being a wife of a head high school football coach has blessed me to make many meals. Throughout the season and summer, Sundays were for team dinners and anywhere from 6-10 teenage boys calling me “Mom” and making our home theirs. Not to count the days when I would get random phone calls from my guys asking what was for dinner. I love it and wouldnt trade it for anything!

#4 Self-Care. Cant say that I have completely mastered this but I have made threading my eyebrows and fresh sushi a part of my monthly regimen.

#5 Introversion. I have accepted that I am an introvert who loves people. I used to long for a best friend-that person who I could tell everything too and spend lots of time with. Well, that person is me…and alot of times my husband. Im okay with having a super small circle and for the acquaintances that life has introduced me too. 

#6 Supportive Wife. I absolutely love my hubby and supporting his goals and dreams is non-negotiable. Being his number 1 fan, being at his events, being his listening ear and biggest confidant are all my priviledge. 

#7 Home Ministry. Home= Husband. Children. Household. If home aint right, its impossible for me to serve at 100% anywhere else.

#8  Welcome Baby. A few weeks ago we welcomed a new baby into our through kinship program. This wasnt planned, by us, we got a call, went through the process and a week later brought home a 3 week old baby boy. Dont know how long he will be with us, just committed to loving him, taking great care of him and praying for his parents. 

#9 Saying No isnt Hard. I used to dread saying no bc I thought I would make ppl angry and that scared me. However Ive learned that its okay for me to say no and without explanation.

#10 Everybody Isnt For Me. I used to really get down on myself if I didnt have an instant connection or feel a certain warmness from ppl. Often I’d ask myslef what had I done or what was wrong with me. Now I’ve realized everybody isnt for me and that’s okay. It doesn’t even have to be anything personal. Somethings/ people arent worth me wasisting my time pondering over.

#11 God is my Source. Its been times when I thought certain hhings happened bc of me or what I’ve done, but I come to realize that God is my source. He is my source of eveything good whether its him providing or allowing someone else to see His glory through my family-It’s Him!

#12 No Longer Living in the Comparison Zone. I used to be so horrible at comparing myself to others. Eventually Iearned that comparisons don’t compare. We are all unique and can only live our lives to the best of our abilities.

#14 Being so Blessed in My Marriage. This year I have seen and heard of so many married couples living like roommates. No affection. No friendship. No sex. No fun. No butterflies. To for me to be in a marriage with a man who truly is my best friend; who I can do life with all while loving, appreciating and wanting to be with him is lit!!! I’m blessed.

#15 Evaluation of My Words AND my Actions. Yes, we as people have to speak good things over ourselves. Heck, I have a list of affirmations right now!! However Ive learned that my actions have to line up with my words in order for change to take place.                             So speak it. Do it. Be it.

#16 Cutting of limitations through Limiting Thoughts. Ive caught myself mentally talking myself out of greatness quite a few times. Like Id think of something or see something and instantly think “that’s great…for her, for them. I couldnt do it bc Im just (fill in the blank)”. No more limiting thoughts. No more self-imposed limitations!!!!!

I hope you have learned some great things in 2016 that will carry you to greatness in 2017.                                              HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!🎈🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉