Hard Things.

I dont like hard things…especially when it comes to people and circumstances. We could all pretty much say that right???

Well, for me this is so true. Maybe bc I’m such a laid back, nonchalant (on the outside) person or maybe bc the thought of inconveniencing others makes me want to break out in a sweat.

Either way, “peopling” can be hard for me. Which is why this is so much for interesting…my job, well my purpose, centers around people!!! Young mothers, young women to be exact. And yall…this is no cake walk!!!

Emotions. Problems. Insecurities. Generational curses. Just not knowing how to handle some things. Lack of attention. Not knowing their worth.

All these things play a role. All these things are familiar. All these things cant go unaddressed for too long.

And again…its hard. Hard to know how to love others well enough so that when you correct them they dont break. Hard enough to nurture and not allow wrong behavior. Hard to give your all when it’s easier to shut down and back off. Hard to go through the muddy waters and not come out covered in filth.

Its hard but there is so much at stake. What I’m learning is that my purpose isn’t going to be lived out doing things that are easy. Being relational, “peopling”, loving others well are not and will never be easy tasks. But they are essential and needed more than anything else.

So for me I’ve decided to not go through the muddy waters trying to avoid the filfth… I’m going to go through, come out, rinse off and clean myself up, and go in again prepared to bring someone, something good, out with me💜

First Teachers…

Parenthood has so many twist and turns. Some days I am completely convinced that I am crushing it! My planner is up to date (including color coded events and a current to-do list that has checks by the majority of the items), the kids have had a hot breakfast before school, the house is clean, lines are in the freshly vacuumed carpet and it smells like either a tropical fruit or a warm sugar cookie, and I am dressed in appropriately cute mom attire and lip gloss is applied before 8am.  Then some days it’s the complete opposite. I get up late, the kids are scarfing down cereal, the house is a wreck and I may have picked up one of my youngest from school in my slippers… On those not so good days, it is so easy for me to criticize myself on how I should have gotten up earlier and if I only would have planned the night before, instead of falling asleep with my baby, I could have been deemed a success by the imaginary “mothering board” (these people exist solely in my head when I having not so good days, especially on the mommy front).

But one of the things that has stood out to me as of lately is that I am teaching my children, even if it isn’t intentional. As parents we have to set a standard for our children so that when they grow up and go away from home they have an example to refer back too.  Hopefully that example is a good one.

I want my children to always be able to recognize what real love is and does because of our home. I want them to know what a healthy relationship is because of our marriage. I want them to be able to take care of their home and be faithful to their families and careers because they have seen it from us first. I also want my babies to know how to live gracefully and be able to start again, with a clear mind and heart, when things go left.  All of it starts from home…Our Home…Their First School with us as Their First Teachers.

So today as you go about being a fabulous mama, think about what you are teaching your babies…on purpose and by example

Balance…Is It Possible?!?

Over the past week or so, I’ve been thinking alot about balance. 

Is there any such thing?

We have been pretty productive during this season. 

Marriage. 4.5 Children + 1 Bonus Baby (through foster care). Home Manager. Working Part-time. 

Honestly, there isnt a lot of me time. I love the idea of self-care but when the rubber hits the road, I have to make the best of our situation. While I would love to go get a pedicure and spend some time alone, honestly I have loads of laundry that need to be washed, dryed and folded so the best that I can do is listen to one of my favorite podcast and read a chapter in a book while I wait for my children at baseball practice.

I know it won’t always be like this but for right now I have to grab the moments when and where I can. So to all my mommy friends, take the little moments until the big ones are available. 

What I’m Learning From the Death of Mike Brown…

There is so much going on in our world today that is just heartbreaking and it shows me how far we’ve come but in so many ways how things are still the same…
For the past week or so social media, news, and other outlets have been ablaze w/updates on the death of a young black man, Mike Brown.
For the first time in awhile this situation made me think, what is it that my husband and I will tell our sons and daughters about the world that we live in?
How can we tell them that there are some people who won’t like you or think you are of no value just because of the color of your skin? How do you explain this w/o crushing their innocence and hope in love?
We have been so blessed to know and be friends w/some pretty amazing people of different races. More than anything I think that God has put our family in a place to show others that we are not that much different from them and to subtly lay to rest the things that they’ve heard or thought about black people…and vice versa.
The one thing that I do know is that my husband I are raising Godly, assertive, purpose filled children who know who God has created them to be. I can’t say that they will never encounter a bad experience b/c of the color of their skin but I can say that we will teach our children to love and respect everyone and to never allow the opinion of others cause them to question their worth and purpose in life…
Praying for our world…Xo

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A Better Tomorrow…

I wish I could say that I have perfectly behaved children at all times but I can’t. Our son had the worst attitude because he couldn’t go to football practice due to the rain and while volunteering today his twin sister decided that she was going to stand in her self-made puddle…of pee.
And our youngest barely reaches my kneecap but can throw a tantrum that most kids could only dream of…
But instead of me sulking and mentally calling myself the worst mother ever, I’m choosing to not freak out.
I’m choosing to smile and be pleasant when I really want to yell and flee from my home.
I’m choosing to clean up the messes, wash the clothes, hand out the consequences, give the speeches…and continue to believe that I’m a good mom and because God gave me these children, he’ll give me the grace to handle the everyday things that come up with love and compassion.
So, cheers to a better tomorrow! Xo
☕️👍💖😀

My Children Suddenly Forgot To Say Thank You…

For the past week or so, there has been a reoccurring theme with our children…them not saying thank you. They say it after I tell them that they didn’t, but it’s after the fact and it just doesn’t feel the same.
A couple of hours ago the same thing happened. They asked for hot tea (one of their favorites), I made it and then called them in the kitchen to get it. And they got their little teacups and walked right back into the den.
I called them back into the kitchen and reminded them that they didn’t say “thank you”. Of course they said, “oh, thank you Mom”…
This time it wasn’t enough. I made them put their teacups back on the countertop. I explained to them that saying thank you is how you show appreciation and if they don’t do it at home with me, then they won’t do it outside of home. And if they aren’t appreciative, then they won’t get what it is that they wanted.
So, my plan of action is to address this again during dinner, to look up some scriptures to give them and to continue to bring their attention to how important being thankful is.
So, how do you deal with your children if/when they forget their manners?
Xo